Last Thursday, I got up bright and early and headed to the phlebotomist for my latest battery of blood tests.

It actually went worse than you’d expect.

See, the longer I’ve been sick, the more difficult getting my blood has been, and it’s now to the point where I’ve had not one but TWO people suggest I consider getting stuck in the carotid.

I’m not excited about it.

However, I’m currently averaging 5-7 sticks a draw because my blood likes to clot and my veins are stupidly small, so it’s either a needle to the neck or this:

Decisions… decisions…

Anyways!

On Thursday, my veins would not cooperate.

They were hiding and rolling away, and just to pin them down and pop them out, the phlebotomist had to bring out every trick in the place.

Warm compresses, a special vein light, a super-tourniquet, THREE needles ranging in size from “butterfly” to “Omygosh I want to die.”

Seriously.

If you’ve never had the megalodon of needles stuck in your arm and wiggled around, blessed art thou because HOLY COW.

I had to keep my arm in place, but my legs could’ve given the Rockettes a run for their money.

And still…

Nothing worked.

There was not a drop of blood to be had.

“How much water have you today?” the phlebotomist finally asked.

Now, I did my best not to look insulted because when it comes to hydrating for blood draws, I’m a veritable pro.

“Eighty-eight ounces.”

She about choked.

“Well, you’re not dehydrated,” she said, wiggling “Omygosh I want to die” again.

And yet, still no red.

“I don’t understand,” she mused, bringing the light to my arm, “I’m in the vein.”

I glared at the nine empty vials on the tray.

“Come on,” I thought. “Bleed already!”

Nothing.

“You’re bone dry,” the phlebotomist said, shaking her head. “I think you’ll have to come back another day. I’m really sorry.”

Friends, I was so upset.

I did my best not to show it because I knew the phlebotomist had done her best, but it had taken weeks of monkeying around with insurance, loads of phone calls to local labs, and a week of being buffeted by symptoms since I’d had to come off all my meds.

And in the end…

None of it mattered.

My body hadn’t cooperated.

There was nothing left to do.

“Omygosh I want to die” was removed, and the phlebotomist walked me back to the front and started to explain to my mom what had happened.

I wasn’t really listening. I didn’t need the re-run. I was there. It wasn’t fun.

But then the phlebotomist said something that got my attention.

“Poor thing,” she told my mom. “God bless her.“

…

…

…

Friends…

I was not feeling particularly blessed.

I felt discouraged. My arms hurt. And I was full on about to pee my pants.

And yet…

Her words reminded me of Jeremiah 17:7-8 which says,

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

I let out a breath.

Blessed.

He calls me blessed.

“God bless her,” the phlebotomist said.

He already has, I thought.

He already has.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

My arms still ached and an accident was imminent (88oz comes at you fast, especially when your loving mother decides to drive on the bumpiest road known to man), but I wasn’t discouraged anymore.

Because in that moment, I was reminded of God’s faithfulness.

Oh dear friends, He has shown up for me again and again.

I mean, if you’ve been around here long, you know He delivered me from suicide and addiction, and I believe someday He’ll deliver me from this affliction.

But until then, I’m resolved to be “like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream” with “no worries in a year of drought” because I know–I know–God’s doing a work in me.

So yes.

My veins might be dry as the Sahara, and I may need to get a needle to the neck.

BUT!

I also know that I’ve got living water in my soul, and God’s not done with me yet.

That’s all for this week!

If you want to support me, please subscribe and share 🙂

It costs nothing, but it’s just nice to know I have readers out there!