When I was in the third grade, I saw the movie The Goonies for the first time, and it quickly became my favorite thing, inspiring an acute fear of blenders and walk-in freezers as well as a fixation with treasure hunting. 

I was obsessed.

So you can imagine my excitement when, shortly thereafter while hunting for gold in the gravel of the playground, I found a diamond ring. 

I actually still have it, and I bring it out on occasion when I want a trip down memory lane (or when like all the people I’ve ever met start getting married/engaged–seriously, it’s insane).

As you can see, it’s pretty big, and accordingly, my third grade self estimated its value at the largest sum of money I could conceive…

A million dollars seemed about right to me. 

Little Sarah was on cloud nine, convinced that she would not have to work a day in her life, and the next day, I badgered my mom into taking me to the local jewelry store to cash it in.

She humored me, and we went the next day whereupon we were promptly told it wasn’t worth anything.

It was costume jewelry. 

Little Sarah was crushed. 

Here I thought I’d found something valuable, only to be told it was decidedly not.

And here’s the thing.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to see that this happens a lot.

That is, many of us, myself included, mistake a counterfeit for the real thing, and when we find out the truth, the results can be, frankly, devastating.

At the very least, we’ll be disappointed and hurt.

But in the case of a person we love/respect or something that’s particularly personal or intimate, it can be a whole lot worse.

And, of course, never wanting to experience that kind of despair or devastation again and scrabbling for a measure of self-protection, many people (like yours truly) end up in a cynical place of over-correction.

Having been snookered before, we determine never to be snookered again.

Fool me once, fool me twice, right?

Wrong.

In his Confessions, Saint Augustine does a 10/10 job of highlighting why cynicism, while understandable, is not going to go well for long:

“But just as it commonly happens that a person who has experienced a bad physician is afraid of entrusting himself to a good one, so it was with the health of my soul. While it could not be healed except by believing, it was refusing to be healed for fear of believing what is false.”

Friends, take it from me and Saint Augustine, using bad experiences with counterfeits to justify saying NO to everything only hurts you more in the end.

However!

Granting this, the question persists:

How can we be sure we’re not being snookered again?

That what we’ve got is something REAL and not a counterfeit?

In Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Dr. Frankenstein is asked,

“Alas! Victor, when falsehood can look so like the truth, who can assure themselves of certain happiness?”

Well, friends!

Today, I’d like to give you a three-step process that I’ve found helpful for assessing whether something is the capital R-Real deal or not in my life, and I gotta say, it’s done a good job of rooting out the counterfeits and securing my overall happiness.

It’s a pretty simple and a super old paradigm:

1. Ask
2. Seek
3. Knock

Step #1: Ask

The first and often easiest step to figuring out whether something is real or not is often just to ask.

When it came to my million-dollar playground ring, it took the jeweler like two seconds to determine it wasn’t worth anything, and even though Little Sarah was upset, I yielded to the person with more experience and expertise when it came to assessing diamond rings.

Now, just to be clear–I’m no fan of technocracy (I’ve written about that here, previously).

However, when it comes to figuring out whether something is the real deal or a counterfeit, asking people with more experience/expertise who have “been there done that,” so to speak, can be remarkably helpful in discerning whether or not to pursue, sign onto, or invest in something.

I mean, I almost always read Yelp, RateMyProfessor, Goodreads, and Amazon reviews for that very reason.

I want to know what people who I have reason to believe know what they’re talking about when it comes to a business, class, book, or product, think.

Still, there are almost always credible mixed reviews on all these things.

Rarely will something be as definitive as my poor playground ring, and in areas with more inherent subjectivity, it may well be that the people offering their opinions on whether something is the real deal or not may be people with whom you fundamentally disagree.

I mean, there are people in D.C. who think that a coffee (not a fan) shop with cats (I am allergic) is the best thing since sliced bread.

I think those people are slightly coo coo bananapants.

Similarly, the church I’m now a member at was once a place I avoided because I’d gotten the second-hand impression that it was legalistic and full of po faces.

*Sigh.

100% not the case, friends.

But it took me actually going there to discover that.

Thus, while the reviews and opinions of others can give you some helpful direction when it comes to discerning something real from a counterfeit, you can’t always just take people’s word for it.

Some things require or at least invite more up-close and personal investigation.

Step #2: Seek

I recently finished Shusaku Endo’s award-winning novel Silence, and while I have some theological qualms with the story (I 100% do not believe Jesus would ever encourage apostasy), it was still an enjoyable read.

Also, in my opinion, it is better than the movie despite the fact the film includes Spiderman, Oskar Schindler, and Kylo Ren playing 17th century Catholic priests.

10/10 casting.

Anyways!

My point in bringing it up is that the book begins with one such aforementioned personal investigation.

In brief, the inciting incident of the novel comes when a few young Portuguese missionaries (Andrew Garfield and Adam Driver in the movie) receive word that their former teacher, much revered Father Ferreira (Liam Neeson), has renounced the faith and trampled on Jesus’ face, and they, not believing the news, set out for Japan to discover truth.

It’s an arduous journey and even more trying once they actually reach Japan, but it had to be done because they needed to know the truth about their mentor and friend.

When it came to the authenticity of his supposed apostasy, a second-hand account was not going to be sufficient for them.

They needed to seek, and indeed see, the truth for themselves.

And they do.

Fair warning, friends, I’m going to spoil the book in

3…

2…

1…

What they’d heard about Ferreira was true.

He had apostatized.

In fact, when he and Father Rodrigues come face to face, Ferreira endeavors to get Rodrigues to do the same, telling him that in the swamp of Japan, Christianity could never take, only be corrupted and decay.

At that, Rodrigues tells himself,

“Don’t be deceived by this sophistry. The defeated man uses any self-deception whatsoever to defend himself.”

Sadly, it’s a defeat that Rodrigues ultimately chooses as well.

Faced with a group of peasants hanging inside pits who will not be spared unless he tramples on Jesus, Rodrigues submits.

Now, we’re led to believe that despite his trampling, he still believes, but Rodrigues’ public apostasy (especially when measured against the Japanese peasants in the story who choose to be martyred instead of doing similarly), casts doubt on, if not his faith’s veracity than certainly its maturity.

And while I doubt Rodrigues would’ve ever said his faith wasn’t genuine, a really good way of assessing whether something is real or not is what happens when it gets tested.

Because as much of an asset as our own eyes/experiences can be, the human mind has a tremendous capacity for self-deceit.

We are… not always the most objective.

And as Rodrigues said,

The defeated man uses any self-deception whatsoever to defend himself.

Thus, the final step when it comes to figuring out whether something is the Real Deal and not a counterfeit does not rely on the opinions/experiences of anyone else or even what we perceive ourselves.

It comes down to testing the thing itself.

Step #3: Knock

When I was in high school, I had a truly incredible history teacher.

He’s amazing and taught me so many things, but my major takeaway from his class was how to think critically.

Through his instruction, I learned how to detect weaknesses in other’s arguments and identify when someone didn’t have all the facts/was just spouting nonsense.

In fact, it was actually through that class that I developed what I term the “mush and push” strategy.

That is, if a classmate said something suspect–i.e. mushy when it came to their knowledge of the facts or thrust of their argument–I would push back.

If they weren’t solid on the facts or argument, it very quickly became apparent.

And here’s the thing.

I didn’t actually have to know anything.

I mean, most of the time I had a good sense of why I disagreed or thought the point they made was weak, but if all I had was an intuitive sense that they’d said something suspect, I didn’t need to know anything to put it to the test.

All I’d have to do was ask,

“Why do you think that?”

And friends, you know if you (like I often have) have ever just said something without really thinking and someone asks you that, you just want to die right there and then because you know you’re about to look like an idiot as you get tongue-tied trying to substantiate nonsense.

100% been there done that, friends.

10/10 do not recommend.

And see, asking someone “why?” they said what they said, is the equivalent of a gentle poke if you ask me.

It’s a soft knock.

A nudge.

A loving tap.

But if something is the Real Deal–i.e. ironclad–you can more than give it a tentative push-back.

You can full on hit it with a baseball bat.

Because here’s the thing:

Real Deals can take a beating.

A solid argument can withstand even the most hostile inquisition.

A real diamond (*cough* not mine) can take a hammer hit.

Someone who really loves you won’t cut out even when you act like a total–

I think you get my drift.

So!

Friends…

If you’re struggling to see whether or not something is the Real Deal, and you’ve asked and sought and still aren’t sure whether it is or not, my suggestion is you give it a good, solid hit and see what happens.

Because Real things–True things–can take a beating and come back swinging.

How do I know?

Well, in John 14:6, Jesus said,

“I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through Me.”

And shortly thereafter, He was scourged more than any man.

Honestly, He probably looked like hamburger meat when the Romans were through with Him.

He was crucified.

Died.

And came back to life again.

Truth can take a beating and come back swinging, friends.

And in the case of Jesus, He didn’t get cosmically knocked around just for kicks.

He did it so that you and I could have life and life abundant with Him.

If we want it, that is.

Because just as I may–God-willing–get the chance to accept a capital R-Real diamond ring from someone someday, I’ll also have the option, having been presented with the ring, to say, “no thanks” and walk away.

Jesus, Real as He is, is still going to give you a say in whether or not you accept Him.

To my understanding, He isn’t particularly interested in having slaves.

He wants a fiancé.

So, friends, if you don’t know Jesus/aren’t sure whether or not you want to say “Yes!” to Him, it’d be my honor and privilege to share my experience of being His.

You can drop me a line anytime, and if you just want to keep abreast of the things I write, please do subscribe so you get notified 🙂

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him.

How I proved Him o’er and o’er.

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus.

Oh to grace to love Him more.