One of my favorite restaurants when I was growing up was this little hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant called King Chef.
I frequently swindled my mom into taking me there after tae-kwon-do classes, and without fail, I would always order the same exact thing:
Egg drop soup.
Pan-fried noodles.
And…
The pu pu platter.
The pu pu platter was by far the best part.
Not least because, as a child, I just loved saying,
“And the pu pu platter, please.”
I thought I was hilarious.
Not sure my sense of humor translated to Chinese.
C’est la vie.
Anyways!
The more I reminisced about pu pu platters, the more I realized there are some significant parallels between how we interact with people and how we interact with pu pu platters, and I think they are worth discussing.
So without further ado, let’s discuss how one approaches pu pu and people platters.
What Do You Want To Eat?
One of the great things about the pu pu platter is its variety.
The morsels begging to be roasted over the flaming pu pu pot come in all shapes and sizes.
Kind of like human beings.
Spiced chicken, beef teriyaki, egg rolls, wontons, veggies, etc.
It’s great 🙂
However…
As with anything, people have preferences, and upon perusing the platter, you’ll probably be swayed in some way by the presentation of the morsels on display.
Because, I’m not going to lie.
Beef teriyaki looks like a turd.
However!
As with people, appearance isn’t everything, and looks can be deceiving.
Now, it’s nice to draw people in, but when it comes to food, eventually taste will win, and beef teriyaki actually tastes pretty good!
Still.
Looks aside, if you’re like me, there are certain foods you’re simply not going to eat.
You know what you like and what you don’t, and for me, that’d be the egg rolls.
At least at King Chef, there was some sort of pickled veg in there that had me like
Pass.
In the same way, there are certain kinds of people with whom I know I’m not going to gel.
The self-important. The vain. The short-tempered. The proud.
Although, a dear friend recently told me that the traits that most bother us in other people are the ones that we most struggle with ourselves…
Ouch.
Regardless, I don’t want the flavor of that egg roll in my mouth and nor do I particularly want self-important/vain/short-tempered/proud people around.
But say you’re new to the pu pu platter or to the people you’re hanging around.
You want to find out what/who’s good and what/who’s not and there’s a couple ways to figure that out!
Ask Around!
If you find yourself unsure about the new platter of pu pu or people in front of you, one good method for assessing your options is to ask around!
Seriously–there’s a reason why platforms like Yelp, Quora, and reddit are so popular.
Crowd sourcing can be a lifesaver!
And just as you might ask your dining companions, one of the waitstaff, or the internet what part of the pu pu platter is best, so too can you ask your mutual friends and mentors about the person or people you want to hang out with!
Just make sure you trust their taste because sometimes even the people you love most can lead you astray.
For example, my mother–who I adore and is a pretty good judge of character–has tried to get me to eat dog food.
Not just once.
Actually, not just twice.
It’s pretty much a bi-annual occurrence at this point.
Just last week, she cornered me and waved a chunk of “something, something, beef liver” in my face, saying, “It’s ‘human grade!”
I said, “Thanks, but not thanks” and ran away.
We have fun, her and I.
Anyways!
All that to say, when crowd sourcing or even just outsourcing for info on a new pu pu or person in your life, make sure you trust the person or people your asking’s culinary and/or character advice.
However…
If you happen to be flying solo, whether at a Chinese restaurant or in life in general, there is one surefire to tell whether or not you’ll like the pu pu or person in front of you.
Taste for Yourself!
When I was in the third grade, I picked up a particular phrase on the playground.
It was one that would go down in infamy in my house the moment I tried it out, and it was none other than…
“Bite me!”
My dad was the first recipient of that particularly turn of phrase, delivered while he was driving me to school one day.
How I survived that interaction, no one knows.
I’ll say this:
It’s a good thing I was in the backseat.
Because I’m pretty sure fireballs came out his nose.
And yet!
While I now know that that is not an appropriate thing to say unless you want to throw down with the person you’ve invited to cannibalize you a la Ted Bundy, I think there’s something to the idea of taking a bite out of person’s life.
You know, to see what it tastes like.
Because just like how when that pickled egg roll hit my mouth, I wanted it O-U-T, once you get the flavor of a person, you can tell pretty freaking fast whether or not you want them around!
And just like with sour egg rolls, sometimes you’ve got to just spit them out.
HOWEVER!
Be cautious about being quick to spit because I think most everyone, if we’re honest, can be pretty hard to swallow.
I, for one, can confidently say that depending on the day, I taste like a straight-up turd.
Like, I will full-on give people GERD.
Which is why I am so SO grateful for the people in my life who have stuck around when they really probably should’ve spit me out.
Shout-out especially to the trifecta of amazing roommates I’ve had.
Emily, Nadia, & Alex, y’all are the best.
All that to say, if, when you get a taste of a person, you feel the need to spit, maybe wait a minute.
They might just be an acquired taste or you might’ve just brushed your teeth with Crest toothpaste.
However, if you really feel you can’t swallow them now, if they’re just too bitter, sour, or rank to get down, I wouldn’t write them off forever.
Because, believe it or not, King Chef eventually nixed the rancid veggie in their egg rolls, improving the pu pu platter exponentially and proving that even long-standing recipes change.
Aren’t people the same way?
Finally! Some Things To Consider:
In the platter of life, how do you present?
If someone were to ask around about you, what would be said?
Would you be a person other people would commend or recommend?
If someone were to take a bite of your life–of you–what would you taste like?
Would they want you in their mouth?
Or would they want to spit you out?
All things to think about. 🙂
