“Sarah, you look so boring.”

It was orientation week of my freshman year of high school, and I was sitting in the dining hall across from someone who would come to be one of my dearest friends, stunned and more than little insulted.

“Uh…”

I had no idea what to say to that, but my face must’ve said something because she rushed to take her words back.

Come to find out that what she meant was that I looked bored, but as a non-native English speaker, things had gotten mixed in translation.

And yet…

Her words were pretty accurate.

Because, friends, until quite recently, I was about as interesting as a potato sack.

It took me much longer than I would have liked to come to that particular realization, but c’est la vie.

At least now I’m much more interesting.

I think.

🙂

Anyways!

Today, I’d like to share three actionable steps I’ve taken to become a more interesting human being so as to engage the world without fear of being told…

“Sarah, you look so boring.”

Love you, Hailey Lee.

The steps are:

1. Reject Passivity.
2. Find Your Niche.
3. Get Good At Asking Questions.

Let’s crack in!

#1 Reject Passivity

I shared this a while ago, but I recently finished writing a Young Adult novel!

I started querying literary agents last week so #prayforme because the stats for getting an agent are… not the most encouraging.

Anyways!

One big thing writing a novel taught me is that passivity is not interesting.

Nobody wants to read about a bump on a log who does nothing.

It’s boring.

Unfortunately, given the ascendancy of technology (not to mention quarantine!) being a humanoid log-bump is now all too easy.

I, for one, have spent hours in bed or at my desk, scrolling through Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, and Facebook, and, as of this blog, I have now watched every single season of Amazon Prime’s sports docu-series “All or Nothing.”

Friends, I do not even like sports.

I am simply log-bumping, and log bumps are not interesting.

So!

Don’t be like me!

Put down the phone.

Turn off the TV.

And then…

#2 Find Your Niche

While the first step towards becoming more interesting is getting off your butt and actually doing something, there are plenty of people who reject passivity and do things that are still not very interesting.

I, for one, have started compulsively cleaning everything.

Cleaning is not very interesting.

I mean, thanks to COVID-19 and quarantine, cleaning is certainly not unique to me, and even if it was, it requires very little expertise.

In brief, it is not particularly niche.

Niche things are interesting.

At least if you ask me.

Because they are either inherently unique or they become so by dint of someone accumulating an extraordinary amount of expertise.

In both instances, you have greater insight and authority on whatever your niche may be, distinguishing yourself from the average human being.

That makes you more interesting.

So!

What is your niche?

What are things that make you unique?

In what areas do you have a notable amount of expertise?

If you can’t answer these questions right now, no worries!

Because even if you presently have no niche—even if you are the most generic human being—you can cultivate expertise in something.

Anything, really.

I once met a guy who could recite word-for-word the entire first season of The Office.

He was an interesting guy.

However, finding your niche (i.e. identifying what makes you unique and/or cultivating expertise) is not an overnight process.

And in the meantime, you’re going to want to be at least somewhat interesting regardless.

And to do that…

#3 Get Good At Asking Questions

When I first realized I was something of a bore, the first thing I did was focus on and talk about myself more.

That was a bad idea.

You know the saying,

“Better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt?”

That applies here.

“Better to be thought a bore than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

In fact, while you’re working on finding your niche and distinguishing yourself, I submit that the best thing you can do is actually focus on someone else because, in my experience, it is a truth often forgotten that interesting people are interested in people.

I wrote about this last week, but human beings are meant for connection.

We thrive on mutually uplifting interactions.

So if all you do is talk about yourself and expect others’ genuflection, you’re not going to be interesting.

You’re going to be a butthead.

Seriously.

Even if you’re the most interesting person in the room, there will come a point where people are going to get sick of you if all you do is talk about you.

Hence the importance of asking questions!

Because not only do they take the focus off of you, but there’s a very good chance you might actually learn something new–not to mention you’ll be beefing up your expertise in how to do an interview!

It’s a win-win-win for you!

I highly recommend it.

I mean, my very first blog post for “Cultiv8ing Character” was about the time I asked a stranger a very simple question and the ensuing conversation.

But what kinds of questions should you be asking?

Two good rules of thumb I’ve picked up are to 1) avoid “yes or no” questions and 2) to connect them.

Instead of asking: “Did you have a good week?”

Ask: “What was the best/worst part of your week?”

Instead of asking a bunch of disjointed questions, ask questions that build off the answers you receive.

The conversation will be more interesting, but more importantly, you’ll have formed a deeper connection with another human being!

And at the end of the day, that’s the most important thing.

Well, that’s all for this week!

If you want to support me, please subscribe and share 🙂

It costs nothing, but it’s just nice to know I have readers out there!