I was recently listening to a talk by Michael Ramsden where he recounted a meeting with the British Foreign Minister who he quotes as having said,

“Hypocrisy is the new global, unforgivable sin.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about hypocrisy since then and getting a fuller picture of how profoundly damaging it is, and I wanted to write about it.

So I am!

But first, just to get the definition of hypocrisy out of the way:

Failing to meet a standard you’re trying to meet is not hypocrisy.

That’s just being a human being.

However, claiming to value a standard publicly and/or privately while completely ignoring it personally…

Now that’s hypocrisy.

And it is a no good, very bad thing which is to be avoided by anyone with even a semblance of integrity.

Hence why I wanted to address the issue of hypocrisy since you can’t really “cultivate character” while being a hypocrite.

At least if you ask me.

And hey, full disclaimer: I’m no stranger to hypocrisy!

Old Sarah was a butt on many fronts, but I’m trying to get those days behind me 🙂

Anyways!

This week, I want to highlight telltale signs of when you might be dealing with a hypocrite or even *eh-hem* being a hypocrite.

And to do this, I’m going to roast hippopotamuses.

What can I say?

It’s been a minute since I’ve used an animal to make an argument, okay?

Bear with me 🙂

Besides!

From what I can tell, hypocrites and hippopotamuses actually have a lot–a lot–in common.

So without further ado, here are three signs a hypocritamus is in the room!

Sign #1: Throwing Their Weight Around

Did you know that hippos are the third largest land mammal on planet earth?

They average a whopping 3000 pounds so if one sits on you, you will almost certainly become one with the dirt.

Given this, it stands to reason that hippos have a very healthy and uh, heavy, sense of self-worth.

So too do their hypocritamus counterparts.

Men and women who, while probably not 3000 pounds, are almost always large and in charge.

Or, at the very least, they like to think they are.

Because sadly, you don’t have to be a billionaire, a political leader, or a celebrity to claim to rule the waves only to wave the rules.

You just have to have a hippo-sized ego.

From there, it doesn’t take much to convince yourself that the rules don’t apply to you.

After all, rules are meant for underlings.

You are meant for higher things.

You’re more intelligent, more righteous, more capable and benevolent than the other people in the room.

At least, that’s the way I used to think, and from what I can tell, among hypocritamuses, that mode of thinking is not unique.

They are all more (fill in the blank), and they’re not shy about throwing around that added weight.

Thus, while they don’t think rules aren’t bad per se, they just don’t think they should have to obey.

As we shall see when we get to #3, the former claim can and does change.

But first, let’s discuss what happens when you call a hypocritamus out on their hypocritical ways.

Sign #2: Lashing Out With “What About…?”

Did you know that hippos are actually the world’s most dangerous land mammal?

They are extraordinarily aggressive, killing roughly 500 people a year.

So if you cross one, be prepared because if they see you as a threat, they are going to try to chomp you in half.

Amazingly, hypocritamuses behave in much the same way.

If you call them out on their hypocritical ways, they’re going to lash out and get in your face.

We see this a lot nowadays.

You point out someone’s ideological and/or lived inconsistency (AKA hypocrisy), and the first thing they say is

“Well, what about x, y, and z?”

Typically pointing to something they perceive to be a mark of your own hypocrisy.

Now, it very well might be.

In which case, take care to check that you are actually being consistent in what you preach, do, and think.

After all, we’re trying to minimize–not multiply–hypocrisy.

A sea of hypocritamuses is exactly what the world does not need.

However, at least in my experiences, the “what about” lash out lacks any real teeth.

It’s a deflection mechanism.

An excuse.

And if you–a person with integrity–press the hypocritamus on their inconsistency, you’ll get to see the depth (or lack thereof) of their dedication to what they supposedly believe.

Sign #3: Sinking To The Bottom Of The River

So you’ve pressed the hypocritamus on their hypocrisy, and they’ve lashed out with a “What about x, y, and z?”

To which you, a person with integrity, have replied,

“Yes, I agree. It is wrong to do x, y, and z.”

Now, the hypocritamus is floundering.

They were banking on you being hypocritical too, and without that, they don’t know what to do.

Now, they either admit to being a hypocrite OR somehow slip the noose.

Seeing as “hypocrisy is the new global, unforgivable sin,” which do you think they’ll choose?

Option number two!

But there are only two ways to quit being a hypocritamus.

You either…

A) Recommit to the standard you claimed to uphold.

OR

B) Abandon having any standards at all.

Ergo you sink to the bottom of the river.

Historically, option B is the more popular of the two.

If you don’t believe me, I challenge you to think of any quote “double standard” that existed in the past where the higher standard is the one that is now existent.

I’ll wait.

…

It’s extremely rare.

Now, I think there are a couple reasons why this happens, but the leading one, as far as I can see, is that people get tired of living hypocritically but also have no interest in adhering to a standard–that while good–they don’t actually, themselves, want to keep.

Sinking to the bottom of river takes care of both of these, and sadly, I think bottom feeding is becoming our norm, even our general cultural trajectory.

Reflection on it depresses me.

Because what that means is that a carrying capacity of the population has ceased to believe that living with integrity is how you succeed.

I think former Chief Rabbi of the United Kingdom Jonathan Sacks put it best when he said,

“Too many people… have come to the conclusion that if you can get away with it, you would be a fool not to do it.”

This makes me want to scream.

Because if that’s true, we’re in big, big trouble.

So I’m asking.

Do we believe that living with integrity is not only a worthwhile thing but an essential part of what it means to be a human being?

Do we believe it leads to our flourishing?

Or are we intent on being hypocritamuses?

Throwing our weight around, lashing out with “what abouts,” and sinking to the bottom of the river when we finally get called out?

Just something to think about.