A while back, I got a piece published by The American Enterprise Institute’s Initiative on Faith & Public Life on the topic of election interference and the importance of integrity, and ever since then, I’ve been thinking about integrity in the more particular, personal sense.

What it is…

Why it’s important…

AND!

How to determine whether or not you have it.

I’ve been struggling with how I’d go about articulating that last bit, but I finally got some help from none other than the guardian of lost souls…

The powerful…

The pleasurable…

The indestructible Mushu.

I grin every time I watch that.

Anyways!

While Mushu might have rightly earned a smack for that comment, his claim of having X-ray vision got me thinking about the layers that make up human beings, and I think a lot of having integrity has to do with what someone would see if they could look straight through you and/or me.

If you think that’s an impossibility, you should know that internationally renowned synthetic organic chemist and one of my personal heroes, Dr. James Tour, is confident that in less than 50 years, scientists will be able to hook up and project a person’s inner thoughts onto a screen for all to see.

…

Exciting.

And so to prepare for that lovely eventuality, this week, I want to talk about how to assess and address the three major things—or layers, so to speak—that I think determine integrity:

1. Declarations
2. Demonstrations
3. Desires

My hope is that by going through all three, we might be able to better see whether or not we have “3D integrity,” and if not, we’ll be able to fix that before people start hooking us up to giant projector screens.

Layer #1: Declarations

The first of the three layers that I want to discuss are our declarations since, as the most outward facing, they are the easiest to see.

That is, people don’t need to be able to mind read in order to grasp what we say or share publicly.

It’s all out there for anyone and everyone to hear or read.

However!

The difficult thing about declarations is that they don’t always reflect what we believe.

I read Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray a few months ago (which, if you haven’t read it, has some of the most beautiful prose), and while I really liked the story as a whole, there was one character I wanted to punch straight in the face from pretty much the first moment he appeared on the page.

Lord Henry Wotton.

For why?

Well, beyond the simple fact that he’s an inveterate cad and terrible friend, he also frequently doesn’t really mean what he says.

Another character in the book, Basil, actually calls him out on this, saying,

“I don’t agree with a single word that you have said, and, what is more, Harry, I feel sure you don’t either.”

Now, while Lord Henry is shown to be a regular bon vivant who seems to take pleasure in just saying bombastic/irreverent things, at one point, he also touches on what I think is actually the main cause of people declaring things they don’t actually believe.

“We think that we are generous because we credit our neighbor with the possession of those virtues that are likely to be a benefit to us. We praise the banker that we may overdraw our account and find good qualities in the highway man in the hope that he may spare our pockets.”

For all my dislike of him, I think that here, Lord Henry is spitting straight facts about our proclivity to curate our declarations based on how we want other people to see us or act.

And in that respect, our declarations can very easily become a means to manipulate and/or deceive, and that’s really not good if you want to be someone who lives with integrity.

Luke 6:45 says, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,” and if your tongue is informed by manipulation and deceit, that’s a good indicator that you are not living with integrity.

And that’s going to catch up with you eventually.

As the great Soren Kierkegaard said,

“Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour when everyone has to throw off his mask? Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked? Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it?”

For people whose declarations are not reflective of what they actually think, they’re playing a waiting game with the rest of humanity because it’s been my experience that people are never permanently deceived.

Because we don’t only listen or read.

We also watch.

And that brings me to the second layer of 3D integrity.

Layer #2: Demonstrations

When I was little, one of my favorite TV shows was What Would You Do? with John Quinones.

If you haven’t seen the show, the basic gist is a hidden camera crew films ordinary people reacting to a whole slew of situations.

Someone stealing a bike.

An interracial couple being harassed.

A baby that’s been left in a hot car.

Etc. etc.

I always thought it was interesting to see how people would act when they didn’t know they had an audience, and unsurprisingly, the people who intervened were typically few and far between.

And yet…

When those who didn’t intervene were questioned, they almost always agreed they should have done something and would certainly do so at the next opportunity.

And to that, little Sarah would point at the screen and crow, “BALONEY!”

Now, I’m a lot more charitable these days, but the question remains…

Why the change of heart?

Typically, their failure to act and John Quinones’ questioning weren’t that far apart.

Why now that their face is on a television screen do they seem so eager to clear up the record and say that next time–next time!–they will do something?

I submit it has to do with a lack of integrity.

See, the Latin word integritas, denotes soundness, wholeness, completeness.

If you are sound, whole, complete, it won’t matter who is or isn’t looking your way.

You will behave the same.

Your demonstration will be an outward expression of an inward conviction, and that isn’t going to change whether or not there’s a camera and/or John Quinones in your face.

And listen…

Sometimes we need other people’s watching eyes to make us behave better than we would otherwise.

Speaking for myself, accountability can and often does make me better–that’s true.

HOWEVER!

I firmly believe that if you take your cues solely from what you think the watching world wants from you, sooner or later, you’re going to find yourself doing something you really don’t want to do.

I just finished The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien which centers on the Vietnam War, and early on, he captures something of this, writing,

“They carried their reputations. They carried the soldier’s greatest fear, which was the fear of blushing. Men killed, and died, because they were embarrassed not to. It was what had brought them to the war in the first place, nothing positive, no dreams of glory or honor, just to avoid the blush of dishonor. They died so as not to die of embarrassment.”

The censure of a community is an incredibly powerful thing.

John Quinones may be nice, but the rest of the world can be downright mean.

Indeed, the threat of being ridiculed and ostracized can very easily tempt you to go against what you believe.

I’ve got a separate piece on my experience with that if you want to read.

But here’s the thing.

If you’re living with integrity…

If you are sound, whole, and complete…

It won’t matter who is watching you OR the potential penalty.

You will want to live out what you believe.

And that brings me to the final and innermost layer of 3D integrity.

Layer #3: Desires

This final layer is the one that is the most difficult to see (pending those Orwellian projector screens).

And yet, if you ask me, it’s probably the most personally significant piece of having integrity.

Because you can say what you believe.

You can even behave accordingly.

But if your interior desires are in conflict with what you’re declaring and demonstrating externally, you will be heading down a path of abject and utter misery.

Because what you’ll have then isn’t integrity–it’s duty.

I’ve written before about why I don’t see duty as a particularly compelling way to orient your life, so rather than rehashing that, I thought I’d use Mulan as an illustration.

We started with Mushu, so it seems appropriate.

See, at the beginning of the movie, Mulan is trying her best to talk and walk like the “perfect bride.”

Her declarations and demonstrations are sincere and aligned, but despite this, it is very clear that she is not happy with her life.

She doesn’t actually want to be a perfect bride.

She’s trying to do her daughterly duty, but it isn’t what she wants inside.

Indeed, it’s pretty clear that she feels trapped in her life.

And see, that’s the thing.

If you feel trapped, that’s a good sign you don’t have true integrity yet.

Because unlike duty, integrity isn’t imprisoning.

It’s liberating.

See, if you actually want to declare and demonstrate what you believe…

If your desires are in line with your words and deeds…

You will be sound, whole, complete.

You will be, in a word, free.

That’s why I think getting a better understanding of our desires is essential not only for integrity but also for our flourishing.

And to that end, I think when it comes to our desires, C.S. Lewis put it best when he said,

“It seems our Lord finds our desires not too strong but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures mucking about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us! Like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the street, incapable of understanding what is meant by a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.“

I completely agree.

I fully believe that the issue with our desires is usually not that they are wicked or wrong, it’s that they are too weak.

Indeed, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the obvious things but never actually get to the heart of what we need.

Friends, I can’t say for sure what the deepest desires of your heart are, but if you’re anything like me, I suspect that you want at least some of these things:

Love.

Joy.

Justice.

Mercy.

Security.

Identity.

Purpose.

Truth.

Intimacy.

Peace.

If you click on the links, you’ll see that all of those things are available in my man JC.

Truly, I don’t like being too prescriptive, but personally, I can tell you that when I discovered that everything I deep down really wanted was found in Jesus, my life changed completely.

Jesus is honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I just want Him more than anything, which has really done wonders for my integrity!

Because now my declarations and demonstrations are an outpouring of an inward reality.

In short, I’ve got integrity generated from the inside out.

The King of All Creation holds my heart, directs hands, and informs my mouth.

And while I don’t always do things perfectly, by and large, I no longer speak to manipulate or deceive.

I don’t act based upon the smiles or censure of the watching community.

And I 100% don’t live in dutiful misery.

And hey, you may not believe what I believe (though, if you’re at all curious about Jesus, please, please reach out to me), but regardless, I do hope this piece helped you think a bit about your declarations, demonstrations, and desires, and ultimately, has helped you see whether or not you have 3D integrity!

That’s all for this week!

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“Delight yourself in the Lord,
    and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in Him, and He will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
    and your justice as the noonday.” Psalm 37:4-6