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    Resolved, Beauty Will Save The World

    Last Saturday was an interesting day.

    I learned (kind of) how to clean my roller skates.

    Gently threatened a friend’s boyfriend 🙂

    Got slightly sunburnt.

    And went to my last Cicero Society debate!

    That last bit is what I want to focus on this week because while I didn’t end up getting called on to make a speech, I found the topic so intellectually stimulating I thought I’d write up what I would’ve said and post it here for those who might be interested!

    See, the debate topic was on a proposition I’d never thought of before, but in the course of 3 hours (the duration of the debate), I was like I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION!

    Pickme GIFs | Tenor

    Alas, God did not want it shared there.

    He wanted it shared here!

    Unless He doesn’t want it shared either.

    In which case, I hope He destroys my computer.

    Okay, it didn’t happen, so without further ado, I give you my musings on the resolution:

    Resolved, Beauty Will Save The World

    Let’s begin 🙂

    First, A Definition:

    In the Song of Solomon 4:7, the speaker tells his beloved,

    “You are altogether beautiful, my dear. There is no flaw in you.”

    Saturday morning (the day of the debate), I offhandedly remarked that it was a beautiful day.

    It was flawless.

    The sun was shining, it was a breezy 72 degrees, there were no mosquitos, flowers were blooming, and there was not enough pollen to mess with my allergies.

    It was great!

    And the ambiance was only made better by the fact that I got to have tacos with my friend and her boyfriend along the Georgetown waterfront before proceeding on to one of my favorite things (grocery shopping).

    However, by close of day, having been walking around or sitting outside for close to six hours, I was… slightly baked.

    Not full-on orangutan level, but there was a discernible traffic cone cast to my face, and as I was getting dressed for the swanky debate, I was like,

    “Man, I wish I’d worn sunscreen today.”

    And here’s the thing.

    I’d had the opportunity to put sunscreen on–not once but twice–because I’d thought about putting some on before I left to meet my friend (didn’t do it) and she’d actually offered me sunscreen before we left for lunch with her boyfriend.

    In fact!

    Before we left her apartment, we’d had a hearty laugh over the fact that when I turned the corner, she hadn’t finished rubbing in her sunscreen yet.

    Sunscreen GIFs | Tenor

    It was laid on THICK, and I made a crack about how that was very Asian of her (as a general rule, Asian mamas will tell you skin and sun don’t mix!), but she said that wasn’t it.

    Another friend of hers was in a class studying skin cancer and its effects and, as a consequence, SUNSCREEN, SUNSCREEN, SUNSCREEN had been drilled into her head.

    I suggested,

    “Maybe you should leave it like that. It’ll remind everyone else who’s not wearing sunscreen that they should be.”

    She laughed and offered me some, but I said nah.

    There’s cloud coverage.

    I’ll be fine.

    Right.

    Fast forward to that night.

    I’m sitting at the debate with a baked face next to another friend who really was looking orangatang-ish because he, like me, had neglected to put on sunscreen that AM, and we’re joking about the fact that we’ll probably been acquiring skin-cancer sooner rather than later, when suddenly, the answer to the resolution Beauty Will Save The World hit me like a baseball bat!

    Beauty, in the aesthetic sense, can’t save the world because it is powerless against death.

    Follow me, friends.

    That morning, I’d noted that it was a beautiful day.

    It was perfect.

    Flawless.

    Really could not have been better in any way.

    And yet.

    Despite the beauty of the day, I ended up with an irradiated face.

    Sunburn GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

    And yes, sunscreen definitely would’ve helped me, but it would not have changed the sun’s radioactivity.

    In fact, when you think about it, putting on sunscreen is really just an embodied memento mori.

    It’s a recognition of the fact that we need protection from the elements, and that consistent exposure is, in a word, deleterious.

    It’s a hard truth, friends, but the most physically beautiful person in the world, given time and sun enough, is going to one day look like a craisin.

    That’s a discomforting realization, but it’s one I think we all need to have.

    And I think my man Rasputin described that awakening best when he said:

    In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning
    And the nightmare I had was as bad as can be!
    It scared me out of my wits!
    A corpse falling to bits!
    Then I opened my eyes
    And the nightmare was me
    !

    Animated GIF

    Rasputin experienced death and decay personally.

    I’m 23, but ongoing health issues have made me very aware that my body is going to run down eventually.

    But maybe you’re totally healthy!

    Completely wrinkle and sun-spot free!

    Maybe you don’t see yourself as a corpse falling to bits, and when it comes to the universal biological clock, you plead ignorance.

    Okay.

    I get it.

    It’s kind of gloomy to think about how you’re in the process of dying everyday.

    But just because you don’t want to think about your own demise and decay doesn’t mean their reality goes away.

    Death isn’t something you can ignore or forget.

    In the fourth book of his Confessions, Saint Augustine reflects on the aftermath of his best friend’s death, saying,

    “Everything on which I set my gaze was death.”

    If you’ve ever lost someone you love, you know you can’t just “get over it.”

    It completely changes the way you see the world, and all that hippie dippie New Age nonsense about what’s passed having no relevance or “living in the moment” is insufficient.

    It’s not up to the task of reckoning with the felt reality of death.

    In his phenomenal book A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis, reflecting on the death of his wife Joy, wrote this:

    It is hard to have patience with people who say,
    ‘There is no death’ or ‘Death doesn’t matter.’ There
    is death. And whatever is matters. And whatever
    happens has consequences, and it and they are irrevocable and irreversible.

    Augustine and Lewis knew the heartrending, life-altering effects of death.

    They knew someone could be here one moment and gone the next.

    And none of us are exempt.

    Nothing and no one on earth–no matter how aesthetically beautiful it is–can escape the Second Law of Thermodynamics.

    We, all of us and all we love, are being physically wound down day-by-day.

    Romans 8:21-22 says,

    All creation is in bondage to decay and is groaning with labor pains for its redemption.”

    Friends, the idea that beauty in the aesthetic sense, whether manifested in bric-a-brac, Victoria’s Secret models, or sunsets, will be able to help us with what we all really need saving from–death–is sheer nonsense.

    However…

    There is beauty in another sense.

    “You are altogether beautiful, my dear. There is no flaw in you.”

    About 2000 years ago, there was this man named Jesus, and while He wasn’t the hunkiest or handsomest guy, He lived a perfect, flawless, beautiful life.

    Isaiah 53:2-5 describes Him like this:

    He had no appearance or form that we should look upon Him,
        nor any beauty that we should desire Him.
     He was despised and rejected by mankind,
        a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.
    Like one from whom men hide their faces

        He was despised, and we esteemed Him not.

    But surely He has carried our pain
        and borne our suffering,
    yet we considered Him smitten,
        stricken by God, and afflicted.
    But He was pierced for our transgressions,
        He was crushed for our iniquities;
    the punishment that brought us peace was on Him,
        and by His wounds we are healed.

    In John 19:30, Jesus, hanging on a cross, lifted up His head and cried out in a loud voice,

    “It is finished.”

    The end.

    The punishment for our peace–our eternal salvation–was upon Him and by His wounds, we are healed.

    Oh dear friends.

    The fact of the matter is we don’t need to wait on beauty–true and utter flawlessness–to save the world because He already has.

    He already has.

    And to prove it, He rose from the dead, demonstrating that the Second Law of Thermodynamics does not get the final say in the end.

    To death and decay, those who are in Christ get to say,

    “O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!”

    I can say from experience, friends, Jesus is truly the way, the truth, and the life, and there’s nothing better or more beautiful than knowing Him.

    And just in case you think because Jesus wasn’t hunky God has no aesthetic sense, 1 Corinthians 2:9 says,

    “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no heart has conceived that which God has prepared for those that love Him.”

    So…

    To the resolution “Beauty will save the world,” I’d say again.

    He already has.

    And, friends.

    If you don’t know Jesus–my dearest Father, my closest Friend, the most beautiful Person who has ever lived–it would be my honor and privilege to introduce you to Him.

    Drop me a line if you’re interested 🙂

    And until then, I leave with an excerpt from one of my favorite songs “Gloryland.”

    We’ll need no sun in Gloryland
    The moon and stars won’t shine
    For Christ himself is light up there
    He reigns of love divine
    Then weep not friends
    I’m going home
    Up there we’ll die no more
    No coffins will be made up there

    No graves on that bright shore

    Fifteen Years A Slave/Master

    From the age of five to twenty, I was addicted to pornography. If you read no further or take nothing else from this testimony, please, please know that there is hope, there is healing, and there is freedom from addiction because as I write this, I am over two and a half years sober from porn and masturbation. Honestly, I can’t help but smile as I write that because I never, ever, thought I would be free, so if that’s you, take heart! 

    It can happen for you because it happened for me. 

    But first, I have to make clear that I was hardly someone you would pick out as suffused with sexual perversity. I mean, in high school, I was voted “most likely to be a nun” by a margin of over a hundred, if that tells you anything about my perceived sexuality. On the outside, I was near squeaky clean. But looks can be deceiving, and from the stories that have been shared with me, I know that my story is not unique. It is shared by hundreds, thousands, probably millions of others who feel too ashamed to come clean. 

    I hope one day they’ll share their stories, but for now, you’re stuck with me.

    Let’s go back to the beginning.

    My descent into the world of pornography began with just one click. One wayward search on the internet – one misstep – an accident, and that was it. When I first confessed to my parents two years ago, they were stunned. My dad took the news especially hard, because he believed he’d taken every precaution, using parental controls to censor those ends of the internet. And yet, before I’d walked into my first day of first grade, I’d seen pornography. 

    Porn is, in point of fact, one of my earliest memories, and the fifteen years I spent immersed in it were both formative and profoundly, inescapably damaging. Frankly, the scars haven’t fully faded, and they may never be completely erased. But I’m reckoning, and I’m healing, and that’s good enough for me.

    Now, you may very well be rolling your eyes, thinking, seriously? How bad could watching porn really be? In fact, isn’t porn a great, good thing? A boon to lonely singles, enterprising, sex-positive individuals, and the Las Vegas economy?

    It wasn’t for me. 

    It wasn’t for me. 

    And today, I’d like to make the case that watching porn is actually profoundly, inescapably damaging for everybody by virtue of the fact that it does two devastating things.

    It makes you a slave.

    And it makes you a master.

    At least, that’s what it did to me. 

    If you talk to anyone who has watched pornography for any length of time, but especially those, like me, who have given it years of their life, very quickly you will realize that porn is powerful. Extraordinarily so. In fact, studies have shown that it actually rewires your brain through the stimulated release of certain chemicals. It’s like a drug that way, so when people say they just can’t walk away, believe them. Believe me. 

    See, more than once during my fifteen-year odyssey with pornography, I’d tried to stop. It never worked. My most determined efforts were never enough. The longest I ever made it was a month, and then I’d fall right back in. Porn was a drug I just couldn’t quit, even as I told myself almost daily that I’d take just one… more… hit.

    Now you may have never drunk from the bitter cup of addiction. You may not know what it’s like to be shackled by what feels like an all-consuming affliction. If that’s the case, God be praised! Because for over a decade of my life, I was riddled with anxiety, self-loathing, and shame.

    And I didn’t understand. 

    How could something that felt so good be making me feel so bad? 

    How could the porn that I was enjoying be making me feel so sad? 

    Why couldn’t I walk away? 

    How could I be so disciplined in every other area of my life, but with porn and masturbation, I was always losing the fight?

    In fact, the harder I tried, the tighter the chains seemed to wind until they’d so ensnared my body and befogged my mind that I’d become a slave. I was daily watching and doing what I’d come to hate, but more than that, almost against my will, my tastes had begun to change.

    Anyone who’s ever watched porn knows it is a slippery slide. You might start with “normal” sex, but if you linger on porn sites, “normal” very quickly gives way to things I don’t want to describe. Extreme is an understatement of the most generous kind, and I know because for fifteen years, that’s exactly what I put before my eyes. While I’d started with “normal” sex, I quickly began to titrate up, and after fifteen years, you can imagine where I ended up. 

    But in case you can’t, let me be clear: I’d left “normal” behind before I left elementary. By middle school, even extreme was becoming banal to me. And by high school, I’d gone so far afield that in order to reach that “high,” I would have to look at things that made me feel like I was dying inside. 

    I wish that was a lie.

    But gangbangs, rape “fantasies,” beatings, and countless other things had become normal to me, and were it not for God’s direct intervention, I don’t know if I would have ever gotten free.

    See, on top of being a slave to that high, I’d gotten used to living a lie. Porn, I believed, would be with me until the day I died, and as long as I was squeaky clean on the outside, I thought that was alright. In brief, I’d given up the fight.

    And then in November of 2018, having been cajoled by a friend into attending a conference on sexual integrity in Princeton, New Jersey, I sat in a presentation where Verily Magazine contributor, Mary Rose Somarriba said one, single line:

    “Almost ninety percent of porn depicts violence against women.”

    It changed my life.

    Truly, it was like a lighting rod went through my mind, and while it would be almost four months until porn and masturbation lost their hold on my life, with those words, I once again started to fight because with that one sentence, she opened my eyes. 

    It seems cheesy to say I “saw the light,” so I won’t. And in actuality, that wasn’t what happened. Because I didn’t “see the light.” What I saw was the darkness that is porn for the first time in my life. 

    “Almost ninety percent of porn depicts violence against women.” 

    If you google that statistic, “experts” will tell you it’s a lie. They’ll tell you that that number is way too high. I disagree. 

    Because when I heard that statistic three years ago, the first thing I thought was 

    That seems too low.

    And I would know. 

    See, I’d been watching porn since before the first grade. I had thousands of hours worth of pornographic material inside my brain. I’d sat in silence and masturbated to violence and told myself it was okay, so I don’t give a flying fig what those so-called “experts” say. What I know is that for fifteen years, I got off on women’s degradation, their humiliation, their pain. I’d been asleep at the screen, and with Mrs. Somarriba’s words, I was finally awake. 

    Put another, more famous way, 

    “I once was blind, but now I see.”

    And let me tell you, seeing wrecked me. 

    Because after fifteen years, I could suddenly see that the chains that held me bound didn’t end with me. They extended down into my phone and computer screen. They wrapped around the men and women that I held in my hands, on demand, who, with a few clicks, were mine to command.

    Is that not a slave?

    Now, I can already hear the objections being raised,

    “But they want it! They like it! They’re getting paid.

    Tell me, how much money would you take to be slapped in the face?

    To be gangbanged?

    To be raped? 

    Because the fact remains that the rate of abuse in the porn industry is extraordinarily high, and if you think for one moment you’ve watched “extreme” pornography and not seen actual rape, then you have bought a lie. 

    For me, with the amount of porn I’ve seen, it is all but a guarantee that more than once in my life as I told myself, “They want it. They’re getting paid,” the women that I watched were actually getting raped. 

    They were in pain. 

    Because of me.

    Because of the things I wanted to see.

    I kept them in chains. 

    It was my eyes and clicks that demanded their degradation, their humiliation, their pain. 

    That is a stain that nothing but the blood of Christ can wipe away.

    Because for fifteen years, I wasn’t just a slave, but a master–a victim and a victimizer.

    That was me. 

    That was me. 

    That’s what porn made out of me. 

    So you see… porn is not a great, good thing, a boon to lonely singles, enterprising, sex-postive individuals, and the Las Vegas economy. 

    Porn is slavery. 

    Porn is slavery. 

    I once was blind, but now I see. 

    Can’t you?

    Can’t we?

    If not… I don’t know what more I can say. I’ve been as honest as I can be in this testimony in the hopes that at long last the rattling shackles of the addicted and pained screams of so many women might finally be heard above the crowing din of porn’s advocates, but I’m not an idiot. I know that most will brush my words away. They enjoy porn and so people like me can go right out and hang. But I hope and pray that even just one person might read my words and come awake. That they might see the darkness of porn which took me fifteen years to face. 

    If that’s you, I’ve got nothing left to say but shake the shame, share your story, and break the chains.

    If you want to see my spoken word testimony/slam poetry, it is here.

    Are You A Man?: A Literary Attempt to Bring Masculinity Back

    In recent history, there has been a surfeit said about what it means to be a man. Indeed, presently, there exists a veritable deluge of perspectives and opinions informed by everything from biology to psychoanalysis. The result of this has been a range of beliefs which span from antipathetic to quixotic in their assessment of manhood and masculinity, making it exceedingly difficult to see what being a man actually means. However, literature, and Pulp Fiction, specifically, might be the key to recovering a robust and rousing vision of masculinity from the present cacophony, and thus, this paper will examine how the male leads in Dashiell Hammett’s Red Harvest, Zane Gray’s Riders of the Purple Sage, and Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Tarzan of the Apes, respectively, are portrayed in the hopes that a survey of their commonalities and distinctions might elucidate (and encourage!) masculinity in the present day.

    At first glance the main men of Red Harvest, Riders of the Purple Sage, and Tarzan of the Apes, are almost laughably distinct. The Continental Op is a middle-aged, fleshy, private eye with a penchant for getting other people to fight (and to die). Lassiter is a loner with a quick draw and a bone to pick with Utah’s Mormons. And Tarzan is an English lordling raised by apes who finds enjoyment in hurling pineapples at his lion nemesis’ face. And yet, despite their manifold and manifest differences in personality, place, and circumstance, there is one thing that all three men possess: power. Per Oxford English Dictionary, power is defined as “the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events,” and in Red Harvest, Riders of the Purple Sage, and Tarzan of the Apes, power, so defined, is something all of the men, have in spades, though, admittedly, it manifests in different ways.

    For the corpulent Continental Op, his principal power lies in rhetorically stirring things up: “Plans are alright sometimes… And sometimes just stirring things up is alright—if you’re tough enough to survive and keep your eyes open so you’ll see what you want when it comes to the top.” To his fellow operatives, he contends, “If we can smash things up enough—break the combination—they’ll [the crooks of Personville] have their knives in each other’s backs, doing our work for us.” That is precisely what occurs, proving that the Continental Op’s first and best weapons are his words. However, Riders of the Purple Sage’s Lassiter is notably taciturn, his power resting in his commanding presence and fearsome reputation rather than in being a backroom provocateur. Indeed, his bellowed surname alone can make a gaggle of gun-toting Mormons tuck tail and go home. Finally, Tarzan is the consummate man of action who can subdue a whole village of cannibals on his own and dispatches a lion, single-handed, with only a knife and bit of rope. All three men, despite their differences, have the capacity to realize their desired ends, whether through words, reputation, or physical force and acumen. From this, we can glean that Hammett, Grey, and Burroughs all agree: when it comes to the leading men in their stories, power, in one form or another, is a necessity. Indeed, its absence, in men, is a personal failing. 

    This is made clear across all three books through the inclusion of male characters who, despite having the correct equipment, so to speak, are all, in some way or another, weak. In Hammett’s Red Harvest, the most egregious example of this is Dan, a man who, enamored with the irrepressible and avaricious Dinah Brand, permits her to beat him: 

    She caught one of his thin wrists and twisted it until he was on his knees. Her other hand, open, beat his hollow-cheeked face, half a dozen times on each side, rocking his head from side to side. He could have put his free arm up to protect his face, but didn’t. 

    Dan could move to defend—or even merely protect—himself, yet he stays his hand, taking the beating in silence. In the aftermath, he does attempt to shoot the Continental Op, the lone witness to his humiliation, but he doesn’t stand a chance. With barely any effort, the Continental Op knocks him unconscious, demonstrating another of Dan’s shortcomings: impotence. Impotence, the desire but inability to realize one’s preferred ends, is a trait Dan shares with Bern Venters from Riders of The Purple Sage, who, at the outset of the novel, is shown to be no match for Mormon Elders on a whipping rampage: “‘Will you take your whipping here or would you rather go out in the sage?’ asked Tull [one of the Elders]. ‘I’ll take it here—if I must,’ said Venters.” While he doesn’t passively submit to being beaten like Dan, Venters is too weak to take on the Mormons. Nevertheless, while he doesn’t have the physical capacity to fend off the whipping, he does refuse to abandon Jane Withersteen to save his own skin, showing that he possesses both a sense of honor and personal grit. In contrast to this, Professor Porter in Tarzan is willing to essentially sell his daughter in order to settle his debts, saying to her potential purchaser/suitor, Mr. Canler, “Jane is a most obedient daughter. She will do precisely as I tell her.” Professor Porter is a feckless parasite, even a pimp, willing to capitalize on and debase his daughter in order to make life easier for him.

    Thus, it is clear that in Hammett, Grey, and Burroughs’ estimation, possession of male appendages is no guarantee of achieving a laudable form of masculinity. Being weak is an impinging, if not disqualifying, characteristic if one wishes to be termed a man because however it manifests, whether in passivity, impotence, and/or being a parasitic pimp, weakness ineluctably engenders pity and/or contempt. However, while demonstrable weakness in musculature and/or morals strains the grounds on which one can be called a man, there is a sense in which weakness and power are relative. In fact, among the three leading men—Continental Op, Lassiter, and Tarzan—there is a gradient, and the rest of this paper will be dedicated to determining which one exhibits the highest and most laudable form of masculinity. To best accomplish this, each man will be measured against two questions: 

    1. Are they strong enough to provide others with protection?
    2. Are they strong enough to overcome pernicious influences?

    Embedded in these questions are the assumptions that men ought to do all they can to safeguard the people around them and that they ought to do so with integrity and discernment. In a word, men, in the normative sense, ought to be virtuous. Whether and to what extent the Continental Op, Lassiter, and Tarzan are will now be determined. 

    When it comes to providing others protection, the Continental Op comes in dead last. Within hours of arriving in Personville for his latest assignment, his first client is shot dead. The man’s father, Elihu Willsson, quickly retains him, not only to investigate his son’s murder but to clean up the city on his behalf, saying, “‘I want a man to clean out this pigsty of Poisonville for me, to smoke out the rats, little and big. It’s a man’s job. Are you a man?’” The Continental Op assents, but the plan for Personville’s purification quickly becomes one driven by retaliation and revenge, with the Op admitting, “‘I don’t like the way Poisonville has treated me. I’ve got my chance now, and I’m going to even up.’” According to the late philosopher Rene Girard, 

    Vengeance is an interminable, infinitely repetitive process. Every time it turns up in some part of the community, it threatens to involve the whole social body. There is the risk that the act of vengeance will initiate a chain reaction whose consequences will quickly prove fatal to any society of modest size. 

    Sadly, Girard is right. Within a fortnight, the Continental Op has stirred things to the extent that the streets are running blood red, and one morning, he wakes up to find an ice pick buried in the breast of his quasi-romantic interest, Dinah Brand. She wouldn’t be dead but for events he set in motion, and the night before he’d admitted to her that he could have gone about cleaning up the city a different way: 

    I could have [swung the play legally]. But it’s easier to have them killed off, easier and surer, and now that I’m feeling this way, more satisfying… It’s this damned town. Poisonville is right. It’s poisoned me.

    Clearly, whatever his original intent, the Continental Op was unable to protect the people in his orbit or hold the line against Poisonville’s corrupting influence. 

    Lassiter fares markedly better in comparison. His first act upon arriving in Cottonwoods is to protect Bern Venters from being whipped, and he quickly commits himself to keeping the Mormon Elders’ proverbial yoke from being sealed around Jane Withersteen’s neck, even when she tells him she’s willing to accept it.  Indeed, he goes as far as killing Bishop Dyer, the incarnation of the creed that was draining Jane’s vitality. At first, she doesn’t understand his motivations and pleads with him to stay his hand:

    ‘You’ll kill [Bishop Dyer]—for yourself—for your vengeful hate?’

    ‘No!’ 

    ‘For Milly Erne’s sake?’ 

    No.’ 

    ‘For little Fay’s?’ 

    ‘No!’ 

    ‘Oh—for whose?’ 

    ‘For yours!’

    Overcome with emotion shortly thereafter, Jane beseeches Lassiter: “Kiss me!… Are you a man? Kiss me and save me!” He does save her, but her salvation comes at tremendous expense, requiring not only the slaying of Dyer but the destruction of Jane’s home, a frantic flight from her community, and being entombed within a valley. Thus, while Lassiter wasn’t taken in by the Mormon creed or the Elders’ tyranny, he wasn’t able to overcome either completely. The best he could manage was to kill a personification of the creed, fire Jane’s property to keep the Mormons from benefitting, and seal himself, Jane, and Fay in a place where they couldn’t be reached, and while the valley appears to be a wonderful, prelapsarian place, the fact remains, Lassiter, for all his protective power, had to take the girls and run away. 

    Tarzan is a different case. From the moment he lays eyes on his Jane, her protection and well-being become his singular aim: “He knew that she was created to be protected, and that he was created to protect her.” He won’t be run off for anything. In fact, even when Jane herself appears to abandon him, Tarzan resolves not to do the same: 

    ‘What are you, Tarzan?’ He asked [himself] aloud. ‘An ape or a man?… If you are a man, you will return to protect your kind. You will not run away from one of your own people, because one of them has run away from you.’

    Indeed, elsewhere the other jungle visitors testify that this is true: “‘He had ample opportunity to harm us himself, or to lead his people against us. Instead, during our long residence here, he has been uniformly consistent in his role of protector and provider.’”  Of the three leading men, Tarzan is the most capable, competent, and consistent in coming to others’ defense. And not only in the physical sense. At the conclusion of the novel, having asked Jane to marry him only moments after she’d promised herself to another man—his cousin, as it happens—Tarzan, always with her welfare in mind, asks her how they should proceed because he doesn’t want to make her a pariah in society:

    ‘You have admitted that you love me. You know that I love you; but I do not know the ethics of society by which you are governed. I shall leave the decision to you, for you know best what will be for your eventual welfare.’ 

    When Jane admits that to jilt his cousin would be ruinous to her reputation, Tarzan concedes, refusing to admit even to Jane his true identity as rightful Lord of his cousin’s title and estates:

    Here was a man who had Tarzan’s title, and Tarzan’s estates, and was going to marry the woman whom Tarzan loved—the woman who loved Tarzan. A single word from Tarzan would make a great difference in this man’s life. It would take away his title and his lands and his castles, and—it would take them away from Jane Porter also. 

    Tarzan could have brought his cousin’s world down around his head. More than overcoming, Tarzan could have overtaken him. He had more than enough power to do it. The laws of British high society would have honored his rightful claim. He may have even been able to one day be with Jane. But doing so would have brought her to shame, and because he’d committed himself to a higher end than his own satisfaction—her protection—he chooses to take the supererogatory course of action: self-renunciation. Self-renunciation, or sacrifice, as Rene Girard describes it, is “a deliberate act of collective substitution performed at the expense of the victim and absorbing all the internal tension, feuds, and rivalries pent up within the community.” When Tarzan refuses to claim his true identity, that is exactly what he’s doing. It is an act of total self-donation, an abnegation of his title, his estates, and his romantic satisfaction, all for Jane’s sake because as he’d told her elsewhere, “‘I would rather see you happy than to be happy myself.’” And when it comes to “being a man,” a real man, total self-donation is what it’s all about. 

    The relevant proof of this is the paradigmatic man of Western literary canon Jesus of Nazareth who not only gave up His divine privileges as God but His very life in order to secure others’ salvation.  In John 10:18, He says, “No one takes my life from me. I lay it down. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again,” and a little earlier, in John 10:10, He explains His purposes: “I have come that they might have life and have it in abundance.” Jesus was never powerless nor was he ever corrupted. His entire life was one of self-emptying—kenosis—and His example stands as the example of what it means to be a man, redounding through the centuries and leaving an indelible mark on our imaginations. 

    In the twentieth century, British novelist and philosopher Iris Murdoch made the observation that while our words are stable, their related concepts often change, making it difficult, at times, to comprehend the meaning of what’s being said and, indeed, to communicate. When it comes to manhood and masculinity, this has certainly been the case, with countless voices, particularly in the hard and soft sciences, struggling to articulate what “being a man” means today. However, in the literary world, there seems to have been very little change, which should come as no surprise given that the literary paragon of manhood said in Hebrews 13:8, “I am the same, yesterday, today, forever.” The ideal man has not changed, and every man, fictional or otherwise, can be measured against the example Jesus set. The closer they are, the more manly they get. And thus, when it comes to discerning what it means to be a man today, it’s not a revolutionary but a reminding process that needs to take place, and through reading the words great writers—pulpy or otherwise—have put to page, we can be reminded that for 2000 years, the answer has remained the same.

    Pulp Fiction Spring 2022.

    Under The Dome: Can’t God Just Leave Us The Heck Alone?

    For the last several centuries, there has been an on-going and vituperative dispute over what is and what is not religion’s purview, and in the recent past, a number of disciplines have seen fit to jettison insights from religious texts, clerics, and theology departments on account of the fact their contributions are increasingly seen as nonsensical, déclassé, and irrelevant. Nowhere is this truer than within the sciences. A stunning majority of scientists operating today, when it comes to the question of God (and religion, generally), say, as 18th-century polymath Pierre-Simon Laplace said, “I have no need of that hypothesis.” Indeed, a vocal segment of scientists have said that God is not only not needed but not wanted in their labs and experiments. And yet, ambivalent and/or antipathetic receptions have hardly kept the good and faithful at bay. On the contrary, they’ve historically set the stage for electrifying religion versus science debates. That being said, if one were to take a survey of the most memorable dust-ups between science and religion, science would seem to have carried the day. The inquisition of Galileo Galilei, the Scopes Monkey Trial in Dayton, Tennessee, and the more recent Dover Trial in 2005 all live on in infamy as noteworthy moments of what is widely seen as unabashed religious overreach, making contemporary religious adherents cringe and scientific materialists congratulate themselves on the fact that, in the words of Elizabeth Bennet, religious believers “made [themselves] ridiculous.” However, despite those not insignificant moments of egg on face auto-da-fé, when it comes to religion and science debates, religious adherents just will not go away. Indeed, they display an aggravating capacity, having been humiliated and splayed across the mat, to pop back up again with nary any discernible dispiritedness. In response to this, many within the scientific community, perturbed and incensed at the fact religious people are seemingly made of rubber or else endowed with an apparently limitless second-wind (perchance the Breath of Almighty Providence), have decided that the best defense against religious incursions is a strong offense, and as Enlightened Russian Despot Catherine the Great once said, they now contend, “I am ordinarily gentle, but in my line of business I am obliged to will terribly what I will at all. I have no way to defend my borders but to extend them.” And so they have. Not wanting to barricade themselves inside their labs waiting for the indefatigable religionist advance, many scientists have taken to blowing glass, creating an exhaustive and (they hope) impenetrable materialist snow globe that encompasses not only their lives and labs but the universe in aggregate. “After all,” they contend, “methodologically, science deals in real things—testable, observable facts. None of that wooly supernatural nonsense. And furthermore! Metaphysically, the universe is all there is. As the late, great astrophysicist Carl Sagan put it: ‘The Cosmos is all there is or was or ever will be.’ The supernatural does not exist empirically. We are scientists. We know so, and we say so. So there. Our materialist snow globe stands, and NO DEITY SHALL PASS.” However, something—or Someone—appears to be tapping on the glass. In fact, both practical and philosophical materialism have inherent and ineluctable cracks, and this paper will contend that the materialist paradigm so many scientists defend cannot hope to last because it is, in point of fact, incoherent in both the methodological and the metaphysical sense.   

    In order to best see the short-comings and cracks intrinsic to methodological materialism, it’s important to first get a definition of the term and a sense of how it has become an ideological bastion within the sciences. Helpfully, former Executive Director of The National Center for Science Education Eugenie Scott has offered both, explaining what methodmat is and why so many scientists hold it close: 

    Most scientists today require that science be carried out according to the rule of methodological materialism: to explain the natural world scientifically, scientists must restrict themselves only to material causes (to matter, energy, and their interaction). There is a practical reason for this restriction: it works. By continuing to seek natural explanations for how the world works, we have been able to find them. If supernatural explanations are allowed, they will discourage – or at least delay – the discovery of natural explanations, and we will understand less about the universe.

    For Scott, as well as many other scientists, methodological materialism has proven its effectiveness again and again to such an extent that in the words of atheist and evolutionary biologist Dr. Jerry Coyne, science and methodmat are now “deeply wedded.” A divorce would be costly and onerous, and the last thing any scientist would want to be accused of is faithlessness. They’ll not have any roving eyes, certainly not heavenward. Certainly not towards the divine. However, that being said, even Coyne himself admits that the marriage between science and materialism was no cradle betrothal—it arose over time—a union born of utility and successes. Hardly romantic, but such is life. And yet, there are scientists who object to the marriage. Who claim it was entered into under false pretenses, and that, far from aiding scientific advancement, methodological materialism has been less of a help and more of a hindrance.   

    Theoretical physicist, fellow of The Royal Society, and Anglican priest John Polkinghorne is one such scientist who has argued that methodological materialism has had an intellectually stultifying effect, writing, “The laws of nature… which science itself has simply to treat as given brute facts, are held to display a character that makes it intellectually satisfying to terminate the search for understanding at this point.” Far from being a genial and fecund relationship, the union of science and methodological materialism, per Polkinghorne, has been brutal and abortive, forcing scientists to cut short their exploration of the things they find, lest they be accused of introducing aspects of the divine. Mathematician and statistician Dr. William Dembski has been even more forthright, alleging that the powers that be within the scientific community have engaged in “conceptual gerrymandering.” In fact, he further writes that their preferred modus operandi of methodological materialism is based on a lie:  

    Methodological materialism presents us with a false dilemma: either science must be limited to natural explanations or it must embrace ‘supernatural explanations,’ by which is meant magic. But there is a third possibility: neither materialism nor magic, but Mind.

    Eugenie Scott’s aforementioned list of permitted scientific causes—matter, energy, and their interaction—does not include mind, a short-coming that even fellow atheist, notable NYU Professor Emeritus Thomas Nagel, says must be rectified: 

    The great advances in the physical and biological sciences were made possible by excluding the mind from the physical world. This has permitted a quantitative understanding of that world, expressed in timeless, mathematically formulated physical laws. But at some point it will be necessary to make a new start on a more comprehensive understanding that includes the mind… 

    For Nagel, Polkinghorne, and Dembski, minds are real things. They may be immaterial, but their existence and effects are certainties worth including in the concatenation of scientific inquiry. Frankly, few thinking people would disagree, and yet, many scientists do so quite heartily. They claim all there is is the brain—we are just “meat machines”—and the deterministic firing of the three pound pink slime between our ears determines all our thoughts and the course of our lives. It’s a spicy position to take, made more so by the fact that, philosophically, they’re somewhat awkwardly out of date as it was almost a full four-hundred years ago that polymath Rene Descartes provided a proof that the body (i.e. the brain) and mind are self-evidently not the same:

    There is a great difference between mind and body, inasmuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. For, as a matter of fact, when I consider the mind, that is to say, myself inasmuch as I am only a thinking thing, I cannot distinguish in myself any parts, but apprehend myself to be clearly one and entire; and although the whole mind seems to be united to the whole body, yet if a foot, or an arm, or some other part, is separated from my body, I am aware that nothing has been taken away from my mind.

    For Descartes, the fact we can easily conceive of a body absent a mind (ex. a corpse) and a mind without a physical body (ex. spirits/souls/ghosts) is proof that they are different in kind, not just in degree. And yet monists, like Richard Dawkins, are bound and determined (pun intended) to be mindless. At least philosophically. Practically, though, it’s a different story because as triple doctorate and Oxford Professor Emeritus John Lennox has pointed out, for scientists to say their minds are the same as their brains (that is, the end product of what they themselves claim is a mindless, unguided, evolutionary process), is to admit they have no reason for believing their thoughts are in any way trustworthy or significant. In fact, any “thoughts” they might have are essentially an intellectual gag-reflex predetermined by the laws of physics. And thus, Lennox contends, materialism doesn’t just shoot itself in the foot, it shoots itself in the head. That makes it quite hard to do science experiments. 

    “Alright, alright!” the aggrieved scientific materialist cries. “I admit it! I have a mind.” But like any good scientist, he’ll want to be parsimonious about that hypothesis, and as a materialist, he’ll want to do everything he can to downplay the admittance. After all, it’s a sledgehammer to his methodological commitments. Thus, his mind and his alone will be the only one allowed existence and the only one permitted anywhere near his laboratory experiments for if materialism must permit a crack, it will be the skinniest one the adherent can get away with. “I think, therefore, I am—the rest of you yayhoos are pink slime meatheads.” Ironically, this position, helpfully illumined by physicist, astronomer, and religious Brother Guy Consolmagno in his book God’s Mechanics, leads the materialist—one committed to seeing matter as the alpha and omega of existence—to say everything is just an illusion:

    Solipsism—the philosophical theory that suggests that the universe is just a projection of an individual’s own imagination—starts with the mindset that “I am the only mind that exists.” The story goes that one such-minded amateur philosopher once said to George Bernard Shaw, “I am a Solipsist, and most of my friends are, too.” Shaw was understandably amused.

    Clearly, “no mind but mine” simply will not do. Setting aside the hubris it takes to assume everyone in the room is a pink slime meat cube except you, taking that view turns all matter into something you can see straight through, a move that would seem to intrinsically torpedo a materialistic worldview. And if that wasn’t enough to prove, for the materialist, that solipsism simply will not do, Professor Nagel swings in to further pop their egomaniacal balloon: 

    The understanding of mind cannot be contained within the personal point of view, since mind is the product of a partly physical process… by the same token, the separateness of physical science, and its claim to completeness, has to end in the long run.

    Not only is the no-longer-quite-so-committed scientific materialist’s mind not the only one in existence, his entire methodological position, per Nagel (who is, once again, himself, an atheist), must come to an end. Minds exist independent of our own personal experiences and science has to be able to give an account for them. Matter, energy, and their interaction alone simply aren’t up for the task and because of that, the materialists’ methodological snow globe suffers an earth-shaking CRACK! Mind has swung its hammer, and there’s no going back. 

    “Okay,” the scientific not-quite materialist admits, shivering at the sudden breeze and tightening his lab coat around him, “we’ll let minds inside our laboratory experiments—but that’s it! There’s no need to be gratuitous—no need to extend the argument. Actually, I’m quite content to leave it. Parsimony! Parsimony! A few minds (our minds) will be more than sufficient.” 

    “We cannot leave it,” another white-frocked scientist indignantly says, brow furrowed, tone mellowed by a distinctly British accent. “Science is not content with ignorance. That’s something for those meathead religionists. The argument must be extended.” 

    “But Dick,” his quivering lab mate says, “don’t you… don’t you sense that if we grant mind in excess—that is, beyond the bounds of our experiments, though we could maybe grant some to a few amusing lyricists like John Lennon. He has that great line about imagining there’s no Heaven—that could have, eh-hem (his voice cracks), broader metaphysical consequences?”

    “As long as my genitals are left alone, I am okay with that.”

    In 2017 during a debate with previously mentioned triple doctorate (and committed Christian) John Lennox on the topic “Has Science Buried God?”, Richard Dawkins, self-professed monist and materialist, admitted,

    You could possibly persuade me that there was some kind of creative force in the universe. Some kind of physical, mathematical genius who created everything… You could possibly persuade me of that, but that is radically and fundamentally incompatible with the sort of god who cares about sin, a sort of god who cares about what you do with your genitals, or the sort of god who has the slightest interest in your private thoughts and wickedness. 

    That Richard Dawkins—scientific atheist poster man—of all people would admit he could be convinced “some kind of physical, mathematical genius created everything” is nothing short of miraculous. And yet, as evinced by his rejection of any such genius that would have an interest in our sins, private thoughts, and wickedness, Dawkins made it very clear that while he might admit a higher mind, he will not admit a higher interest. His life and genitals are OFF LIMITS. He doesn’t want to be messed with. And that is the rub, isn’t it? Because for all that scientists must now increasingly admit that they use their immaterial minds to intervene—to “mess with”—their laboratory experiments, the idea that another, higher mind might reach into their lives cannot be countenanced. However, while scientific atheists might not like it, science, we are told, is not about preferences. It’s about evidence. And the question, having admitted that a higher mind might exist, is is there any evidence for it? That is, when we observe the world, do we see occurrences and events that smack of an interested, intervening genius? (I’ll call Him God from here on for the sake of being typographically parsimonious).

    According to scientific atheists, the answer is no. They see zippo signs of Divine intervention within the cosmic snow globe. Indeed, everything is precisely as we should expect in a universe of “blind, pitiless, indifference.” And! They hasten to add, even if we were to run into something unexpected, dare we say, miraculous, all that would indicate was that we hadn’t discovered a scientific explanation. Yet. Nineteenth century French skeptic Anatole France put it like this: 

    If an observer with true scientific spirit witnessed the regrowing of a man’s severed leg after immersion in a sacred pool or the like, he would not say ‘Voila—a miracle!’ Rather he would say, ‘A single observation like this would lead us to believe only that circumstances we don’t fully understand could regrow the leg tissue of a human—just like they regrow the claws of lobsters on the tails of lizards, but much faster.’ 

    According to biologist and atheist Dr. Jerry Coyne, to have real confidence in a miracle, one needs “massive, well-documented, and either replicated or independently corroborated evidence from multiple and reliable sources.” He immediately adds, “No religious miracle even comes close to meeting those standards.” 

    In Ezekiel 36:26, God says, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” Today, a massive quantity of people—over 2.3 billion strong—claim to have had this same, that is, replicated, experience. Spanning the globe and coming from all walks of life, they all nevertheless attest that they’ve encountered and been changed by one Jesus Christ. 

    In C.S. Lewis’ book Miracles, he writes, “Each miracle writes for us in small letters something that God has already written, or will write…” 2 Corinthians 3:2-3 declares: “You show that you are a letter from Christ… written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” If Dr. Coyne wants well-documented miracles, there are 2.3 billion living letters walking around. They might be a good place to start. 

    “But how,” he and others will doubtless ask, “can their claims be corroborated?” Well, Galatians 5:22 says: “The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control,” and for anyone claiming to have met Jesus, there’s a very simple test to assess whether or not they have the indwelling Holy Spirit. Bite them. Taste and see if the fruit of their life indicates they’ve undergone supernatural heart surgery. 

    “But hold on,” Coyne and crew object, “we have a ‘non-divine explanation’ for people being nice. Selfish genes and cultural indoctrination work for us just fine.” And they might most of the time. But an honest person would be hard pressed to say Corrie ten Boom, Rachel Denhollander, and Brandt Jean were driven either by selfish genes or by cultural indoctrination in offering their abusers and enemies forgiveness and clemency. In the words of physicist-priest John Polkinghorne, “Theistic belief is more comprehensive and fully explanatory than atheism can manage to be” because, as a simple fact, in a universe of “blind, pitiless indifference,” such love should be an impossibility. It is entirely ridiculous. It makes no sense. And yet, love is an irrefutable part of our lived experience. Moreover and more to the point, love is, at the end of the day, the heart of the great Christian claim which states a divine hand reached into the world—not to castigate or (as Richard Dawkins fears) to castrate—but to offer us Jesus Christ. Love incarnate. 

    That is the miraculous offer on the table. That is what scientific atheists have to face. And now all there is to do is watch and wait because while 2 Peter 3:9 states that “God is not slow as men are slow, but He is patient, that all might come to repentance,” He’s also promised to come back someday. 

    For Christians, we say Jesus is coming to take us home. For atheists like Dr. Coyne and Richard Dawkins, they say, in five billion years or so, the sun will swallow the only earth they’ll ever know. In either case, none of us will be stuck inside a hermetically sealed snow globe. Presently, though, for those who choose to persists as methodological and/or metaphysical materialists, making the cosmic dome their home, it has to be said that as time goes on, their oxygen is going to start running low, and anyone who’s ever been intoxicated before knows that in that state, clear vision and good decisions go out the window. You go cross-eyed, you shrink back from the light, and eventually, given time, say several decades of life, you go blind, unable to see what’s right before your eyes. In an interview with The Hoover Institution’s Peter Robinson, Dr. David Berlinski, author of the Devil’s Delusion: Atheism and Its Scientific Pretensions put it like this: “It seems to me that those who cannot see [God’s] handiwork will not be able to see [His] countenance either. There is a limitation, a kind of aspect blindness at work.” And so there is. But it will not always be like this, and in the end (the Christian says),  “every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is the Lord to the glory of God the Father, forever and ever.” Amen.

     Amen.

    Religion & Science Spring 2022.

    Forfeiting Philia: The Mistaken Eroticization of Jonathan and David

    In Pulitzer Prize winner Geraldine Brooks’ 2015 novel, The Secret Chord, the Biblical account of King David is reimagined through the eyes of the prophet Natan. Through exposition and dramatization, along with more than a little extratextual interpretation, Brooks gives voice and vitality to the ancillary characters in David’s story, allowing them to spotlight the strengths and shortcomings (i.e. the humanity) of “a man after God’s own heart.” In this respect, The Secret Chord is a fictional tour de force; however, it is not without its controversies, the preeminent being the depiction of Jonathan and David as having had a sexual relationship. In this, the tale departs markedly from traditional exegetical understandings of the actual Biblical text by capitulating to the perennial, albeit erroneous, sense that deep relational intimacy requires sex, and while this departure might entice readers who would otherwise pass over the story of David, in adding sex to David and Jonathan’s relationship, more is lost than illuminated. In fact, in eroticizing the nature of David and Jonathan’s relationship, Brooks not only collapses love as a multivalent category but also, in an ironic twist, implicitly justifies David’s mistreatment of women and extends that same mistreatment to Jonathan. In this paper, I will provide a brief illustration along with an analysis of the long-standing cultural confusion surrounding relational intimacy and sex, argue that Brooks falls prey to it in her eroticization of Jonathan and David’s friendship, and further argue that readers’ understanding of both David’s wife Mikal and Jonathan suffer for this. In sum, I hope to present a defense for the position that David and Jonathan are best understood as friends, and far from being a lesser form of love for its platonic-ness, their love is all the more exalted because of it.

    Geraldine Brooks’ decision to eroticize David and Jonathan’s relationship did not emerge in a vacuum. Frankly, there has long been a sense that deep relational intimacy, that is, love, and sex go hand in hand; however, if there is one recent cultural artifact that encapsulates their conflation it would be the 2019 Kygo remix of “Higher Love” by Whitney Houston. Right from the get, the first verse begins: “Think about it, there must be a higher love/ Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above/ Without it, life is wasted time/ Look inside your heart, and I’ll look inside mine.” At first glance, the lyrics give the impression that the song is about a quasi-transcendental, even divine, form of love, but the moment the accompanying music video is viewed (and it has been viewed over 155 million times) that impression must be swiftly given up. While Houston’s words might be directing listeners to look to the heavens or deep inside, in the video, it’s not hearts or stars that are being exalted but boobs and backsides. Indeed, the lofty audio and lewd video combine to make the message clear: the highest form of love is focused on posteriors. Diotima’s scala amoris was incorrect. Beautiful bodies and sex aren’t on the bottom rung of the ladder of love–they are on the summit. At least according to Kygo’s remix, and given that it has been viewed by roughly half of the United States’ population and actively liked by close to a million, it stands to reason that a sizable number of people agree with him. This is significant because if Kygo synthesis of high love and sex is correct, Geraldine Brooks’ depiction of Jonathan and David is not only logical but requisite because the Bible itself says David loved Jonathan more than anyone—including any woman. Therefore, if sex is the apotheosis of love, it must mean that he and Jonathan shared a sexual relationship. 

    But is Kygo correct? Is it true that the highest form of love requires, indeed, is exemplified by, sex? Psychologists and social scientists would seem to think no, but for a more culturally relevant analysis, it is worth turning to rapper, singer, and armchair philosopher Post Malone. In 2019 (the same year that “Higher Love” was remixed by Kygo), Malone released  “Circles” wherein he serenades an ex-lover, crooning: “You thought that it was special—special/ But it was just the sex, though—the sex, though.” Clearly, in Malone’s estimation, sex is nothing special, which would imply that it is not representative of the highest love imaginable. And Malone isn’t alone. In the last decade, other significant cultural artifacts have seemed to echo this stance. 

    Early on in award-winning 2012 film Silver Linings Playbook, sex is presented as not a higher love but merely instrumental when protagonist Pat (Bradley Cooper) is told by his therapist in reference to a neighbor (Jennifer Lawrence) who he thinks is stalking him, “Maybe she [Tiffany] just needs a friend, and she thought that if she offers you sex, it will be easier for you to become friends with her.” In this, Pat’s therapist presents Tiffany’s offer of sex as a tool to elicit a deeper and higher relationship. Sex is a means, not an end, which once again indicates that it is not the highest form of love there is. Indeed, we now have a contender for that very position in the form of friendship. In his 2015 novel Purity, National Book Award-winning writer Jonathan Franzen put an even finer point on this when his protagonist, Purity “Pip” encounters a man she hopes to know better, and Franzen describes her inner musings like this: “[S]he found herself at a crossroads: either risk friendship or retreat to the safety of casual sex.” For Pip, the risk is in pursuing friendship. That’s the more exalted, the riskier bid because it is more intimate, more involved, than a casual exchange of bodily fluids. Thus, even amidst the Kygorian equivocation of love and sex, there has persisted a sense that sex is not the highest love there is, and yet, as evidenced by Brooks’ decision to eroticize Jonathan and David’s friendship, the confusion persists. In 2016, author and speaker Sam Allberry offered a poignant analysis of why he thinks this is:

    In our culture we’ve really mashed intimacy and sex into one another, and so we can’t conceive of any intimacy that isn’t ultimately sexual intimacy. We hear previous generations talk about friendship and the depth of friendship, and we we roll our eyes and think, ‘Oh, they must have been gay or something.’ But the Bible shows us you can have a lot of sex in life and no intimacy. It also shows us you can have a lot of intimacy in your life and not be having sex.

    Reading The Secret Chord in light of Allberry’s cultural analysis, it is difficult to resist the conclusion that Brooks fell prey to the “Oh, they must have been gay” line of thought Allberry describes; however, she is not unique in that respect. Indeed, over sixty years ago, that kind of thinking was already on the rise. 

    In his 1960 book The Four Loves, Oxford Don C.S. Lewis noted, “It has actually become necessary in our time to rebut the theory that every firm and serious friendship is really homosexual.” For Lewis, that troubling theoretical shift was indicative of the shifters’ insufficient personal experience with friendship: “Those who cannot conceive Friendship [Philia] as a substantive love but only as a disguise or elaboration of Eros betray the fact that they have never had a Friend.” Thus, in Lewis’ estimation, the eroticization of Jonathan and David’s relationship is symptomatic of an impoverished view of friendship, and for the sake of this paper, a discussion of its nature and substance is therefore warranted. 

    What is a friend? In his Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle contends that a friend is an indispensable good without which “no one would choose to live.” Indeed, he writes that “in poverty and in other misfortunes… friends are the only refuge… for with friends, men are more able both to think and to act. David and Jonathan’s relationship coheres with this in both the Biblical account and in Brooks’ version, with Jonathan sheltering and assisting David when his father, King Saul, is making every effort to kill him. However, providing refuge and assistance do not capture the whole of friendship, and in Frankenstein, Mary Shelley builds on this description through narrator Captain Robert Walton who early on writes to his sister, saying, “I desire the company of a man who could sympathize with me, whose eyes would reply to mine… I bitterly feel the want of a friend.” For Walton (and ostensibly Shelley, too), a friend is someone who not only acts as a refuge when their dad is trying to kill you but is also a companion who really and truly sees you, and once again, the Biblical account and Brooks’ representation of David and Jonathan’s relationship clears this bar, with both of them seeing each other as they really are. And yet, clear vision and understanding still fall short of what it means to be a friend. In his Confessions, Saint Augustine goes even further, saying, “Someone had well said of his friend, ‘He was half my soul.’” In Augustine’s view, friends are the people who help make us whole. In The Secret Chord, Mikal, David’s first wife, describes Jonathan (Yonatan) and David’s relationship like this: 

    It was a different thing with Yonatan. [David] didn’t need a reason. He just loved. It was as if one soul had been sheared in half, breathed into two separate bodies and then cast adrift in the world, each half longing to find it another. That was how they came together, or so it seemed to me.

    Mikal’s description of Yonatan and David’s relationship here aligns with Augustine’s view on friendship perfectly; however, Mikal (and Brooks) remains silent on what could impel this relational oneness. Augustine doesn’t. He writes, “[T]rue friendship… is not possible unless you bond together those who cleave to one another by the love which ‘is poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit who is given to us.’”

    For Augustine, friendship is a supernatural event, one which requires Divine intervention and equipment in order to answer the question Ralph Waldo Emerson said must be asked of all friends: “Do [they] see the same truth I see?” Arguably, that Jonathan and David saw the same truth of God and trusted Him implicitly was their highest common denominator and the greatest source of their friendship and unity. Regardless, by all accounts, secular and spiritual alike, David and Jonathan had a friendship par excellence, so why add sex to it? Indeed, it is now worth asking, what does Brooks’ addition of sex do to it? To answer this, it is helpful to examine David’s other relationships.

    In the Biblical account, David has a number of wives, and in The Secret Chord, Mikal, Avigail, Batsheva, all get some face time. Of the three, Mikal is the one who features most prominently, her testimony illuminating the tumultuousness and degradation of her relationship with David. Speaking to Natan about her marriage, Mikal says, “I loved him. You know that, I suppose?… The truth is, at that time, the other love [for Yonatan] consumed him. There was a little room for me…” Elsewhere, she reflects on how David’s treatment of her made her feel understandably less than when they had sex. As if she was a masturbatory vessel—a stand-in blow-up doll for Yonatan: “What young girl does not wish to be loved for herself. And not as some pale, soft version of her brother?” And yet, Mikal is made to say that at one point in time, that was A-okay, explaining, 

    ‘Yonatan had already given David everything… I was just one more gift, laid down upon the altar of that great love. And I was grateful. It was enough joy for me to share David with my brother. I was glad I could be a bond between them.’

    This is the stuff of nightmares. That Mikal would be made to believe that she was, in this case, not a burnt but a sexual offering on the altar of her brother and her husband’s philandering, is utterly horrifying. And yet, at the same time, it is unsurprising. After all, David’s treatment of women within the Biblical narrative, especially when it comes to his sexual impulses, is infamous, the classic example being his rape of Bathesheba (Batsheva) and the subsequent murder of her husband. Given this, it is a wonder that Brooks’ wanted to spread David’s sexual attentions to Jonathan because we have no evidence that his sexual abuses would cease when presented with a different object. Truly, it is far more likely that Jonathan would have become a victim of David’s sexual selfishness. In fact, I would argue that a significant part of the reason why David and Jonathan were even able to have such a deep an intimate friendship was because sex was not part of the equation. 

    Here, the Hebrew and Christian Bibles together provide a clear framework for the essential thrust of the argument because Proverbs 17:17 says, “a friend loves at all times,” and, in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, love is helpfully defined: 

    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

    David did not love Mikal. Not in the original text and certainly not in Brooks’ reimagining of it. No one, having read The Secret Chord, could argue otherwise. He was not kind. He did not honor her. He was not selfless on her behalf. He did not offer her protection. In failing to do all of that, David was failing to be her friend—not just occasionally—but habitually. Again and again. All, in no small part, because he supposedly preferred to have sex with her brother Jonathan. In Mikal’s words:

    You know what he’s [David’s] like, he seeks love like food or warmth, and he doesn’t turn it away. But David was at the height of his passion for my brother when he took me in marriage. When we made love, he made no pretense. He asked me to do things in the dark that recalled my brother to him.’ 

    Mikal’s description of David’s sexual appetite here is strikingly reminiscent of pre-redeemed Augustine’s:

    My soul was in rotten health. In an ulcerous condition it thrust itself to outward things, miserably avid to be scratched by contact with the world of the senses. Yet physical things have no soul. Love lay outside their range. To me it was sweet to love and to be loved, the more so if I could also enjoy the body of the beloved. I therefore polluted the springwater of friendship with the filth of concupiscence. I muddied its clear stream by the hell of lust. 

    In the cult-classic romcom When Harry Met Sally, Harry tells Sally,  “You realize of course that we could never be friends… men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” That “sex part,” as Harry says, is the typical encumbrance for clearing the Proverbs 17:17 and 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 hurdle in friendships because when it comes to sex, it is very easy to be unkind, to dishonor, to self-seek, and to put our desires over others’ protection and well-being. This is true between men and women but also true between any people who want to have sex. David and Jonathan are not exempt, and while the Bible gives us no sense of Jonathan’s sexual proclivities, David’s live on in infamy. Therefore, it is entirely unlikely that he could have been Jonathan’s friend if he was in any way sexually interested in him. He simply did not have the self-control or discipline. Thus, when the Nevi’im commentator says, “David’s statement that Jonathan’s love was wonderful to him more than the love of a woman (for him) does not hint at homosexual relations, but is an expression of deep friendship,” it can be understood as a defense of traditional teachings on sexual morality but it can also be read as an admittance that David did not have the capacity to really, truly love someone in whom he had sexual interest. From the Biblical text, David’s sexual attentions would be the stuff of nightmares to experience, leading to rape, murder, and a child’s death. In Geraldine Brooks’ The Secret Chord, they lead to objectification, abuse, and neglect. It is, therefore, incredibly strange that she decided to eroticize David and Jonathan’s relationship because, as Saint Augustine said, “[the] reign of inordinate desires savagely tyrannizes and batters a person’s whole life and mind with storms raging in all directions.” Jonathan would not have been spared David’s sexual inordinances, and Brooks’ failure to see this is difficult to account for but for the fact that culturally, we’ve long struggled to grasp that deep intimacy and love are not the same as sex. Indeed, so many have lost the ability to distinguish between “love’s serenity and lust’s darkness.” In eroticizing Jonathan and David’s relationship, Brooks not only forfeits the serenity of friendship between them, exchanging it for an erotic zeal, she excuses David for doing the same to Mikal and even Batsheva and Avigail, implying his wives’ less than stellar treatment could be contextualized, even justified, because Yonatan was the only one David really wanted to be warming his bed at night. And in my opinion, this is a serious interpretive and moral oversight.

    Introduction to Jewish Civilization Spring 2022

    Swings & Misses: The Need for Reasoned & Reflected Aims within The Sciences

    During the last century, the Western World has seen a marked and even jarring improvement in standards of living, thanks, in no small part, to advances in the material sciences. Vaccines. Air-conditioning. Indoor plumbing. Chemotherapy. All are good things. However, alongside these creature comforts and salubrious aides, darker developments and practices have emerged along the way. The atom bomb. Zyklon B. Unit 731. Tuskegee. None of these can be swept beneath the rug of history or smothered by appeals to creature comforts and extended longevity. Their stains remain. And yet, today, there appears to be little in the way of sober and studied reflection on how such scientific undertakings came to be. It seems much more the case that the scientific community, or at least its most ardent materialist apologists, wish to prevaricate. The missteps of science are one-offs. Blips. Dismissed with an embarrassed shrug and purse of the lips followed by an exasperated, “Really? You’re bringing that up again? How tiresome. You know the crusades were very, very bad. You don’t see us bringing them up every third breath. Let’s let bygones be bygones. It’s all in the past.” But whether in the case of the crusades or the human slaughterhouses that punctuated the twentieth century, the past never becomes a matter of indifference to the present. In fact, as philosopher Hannah Arendt noted, “[i]t is in the very nature of things human that every act that has once made its appearance and has been recorded in the history of mankind stays with mankind as a potentiality long after its actuality has become a thing of the past.” Therefore, all parties have an obligation to step back and assess, not only the manner in which they’ve swung but what they’ve been swinging at. Science is not distinct in that respect, and if we want to prevent future fouls, so to speak, the ends and the means of scientific inquiry warrant careful scrutiny because to boldly swing where no man has swung before without first pondering what exactly science is for seems a sure fire way to hurtle humanity towards destruction’s door. Therefore, this paper will examine the multifarious ends offered by the scientific community in the hopes that by juxtaposing them, it will be easier to see what ought to be the highest end of all forms of scientific inquiry. 

    Knowledge

    In the broadest sense, the purpose of scientific inquiry is to gather knowledge. In his book The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins clearly articulates this and contends that the principal difference between scientists and people of religious persuasion is the latter’s contentment with ignorance. Religious people, Dawkins says, are satisfied with a “god of the gaps.” They glory in what they cannot explain because human ignorance permits such a milquetoast god to retain a place. However, for men of science, such as himself, human ignorance does not breed contentedness. On the contrary, it compels them to do science:

    It is an essential part of the scientific enterprise to admit ignorance, even to exult in ignorance as a challenge to future conquests. As my friend Matt Ridley has written, ‘Most scientists are bored by what they have already discovered. It is ignorance that drives them on.’ Mystics exult in mystery and want it to stay mysterious. Scientists exult in mystery for a different reason: it gives them something to do.

    Knowledge, according to Dawkins, is what scientists are meant to pursue. However, it’s worth asking, once they secure that knowledge, what exactly are they going to do? After all, greater knowledge is no guarantee that those who possess it will be more benevolent, humane, or trustworthy. Indeed, history provides ample evidence to the contrary. As philosopher and professor Seyyed Hossein Nasr has noted, greater scientific knowledge enabled man “to transform his dagger into a nuclear bomb without having gained any greater control over his passions.” In vicious or intemperate hands, knowledge has proven disastrous because it has no inherent ethical limits. As rock band King Crimson said in their 1969 song “Epitaph,” “Knowledge is a deadly friend, when no one sets the rules. The fate of all mankind, I see, is in the hand of fools.” In light of this sobering reality, the aim of many in the scientific community has long been on the move because perspicacious and enterprising scientists throughout the centuries have been quick to see that if they wanted to combat and/or control the so-called fools, they had to be the one to set the rules. And for that, they needed to be powerful. 

    Power

    According to Buddhist contemplative Dr. Alan Wallace, “Science has overwhelmingly focused on understanding the objective, quantifiable, physical universe in order to gain power over the natural world.” For Wallace, the principal aim of the sciences has not been a disinterested accruement of knowledge (as Dawkins would contend) but a dedicated attempt to bring the natural world to heel beneath the microscopes of man. While there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that—man’s power over the natural world has, after all, secured countless life-saving benefits from vaccines to cancer treatments—C.S. Lewis well said that “[w]hat we call Man’s power over Nature turns out to be a power exercised by some men over other men with Nature as its instrument.” Wallace’s assertion about the power-seeking nature of science does not preclude this because under the mantle of the natural world, human beings are certainly included, and when some men gain power over others whether through science or other means, the question invariably becomes quis custodiet ipsos custodes? After all, regardless of their sesquipedalian degrees and heavy brocade of government funding, members of the scientific community remain prey to every kind of folly. Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and either has the capacity to make even the most dour scientists intolerant and greedy. Indeed, it has even led some to demand not only resources but intellectual and personal fealty:

    These unapologetically anticlerical scientists insisted that empirical, naturalistic science provided the only reliable knowledge of nature, human, and society… They sought to ‘expand the influence of scientific ideas for the purpose of secularizing society rather than for the goal of advancing science internally. Secularization was their goal; science, their weapon.’ 

    Thus, in either the material or intellectual sense, for the more imperial-minded, both science and its fruits are a means to an end—a way to dominate and make others subservient. And some observers, both within and without the sciences, have rightly sensed that it will not be long until such industrious and determined scientists come for them. Given this, they take a more existential approach towards science.

    Survival

    For individuals and communities that do or have felt the hot breath of power-driven science wafting across the back of their necks, scientific inquiry is driven largely by necessity. Far from being a leisurely exploration of nature’s mysteries, the enterprise of science is a matter of some urgency because the knowledge and power science can provide are seen as requisite if they are going to survive. Within Muslim and Jewish communities, this attitude obtains in degrees. According to Professor Nasr, awareness and dread of the West’s military and fiscal dominance has meant that “[t]he interest of Muslim governments in science and technology today is almost always because of what they feel is their need to gain power, whether it be economic or military…” Dr. Norbert Samuelson, a scholar of Jewish studies, has written that even exceedingly conservative Jewish communities which are typically suspect of, if not outright hostile towards, modern science and its discoveries, are willing and eager to utilize the latest in reproductive technology because “[p]ost-Holocaust the number of living Jews is dangerously low. Hence, to ensure the future survival of the people, help is welcome from every corner.” Thus, according to Nasr and Samuelson, the enterprise of science can be a means of survival and resistance—a secular instrument of deliverance. And once science fulfills that end, rescuing the oppressed and giving them reprieve and rest, “the hope… is that science enables human beings to improve the quality of human existence.” That is, once science has made sure that its practitioners will survive, the further hope is that it can give them (and us) more comfortable lives. 

    Comfort

    That science can be a means to alleviate suffering and increase standards of living is a nigh on self-evident fact. Whether enabling us to grow and distribute more food or laying the groundwork to colonize Mars and the moon, science has been a tremendous boon, keeping people fat and happy and promising ever more elbow room. Moreover, according to Professor of Philosophy and Neurobiology Owen Flanagan, the successes of sciences don’t appear to be stopping anytime soon: 

    We have been very successful as a species at overcoming obstacles, e.g. our inability to fly, by inventing prosthetics. Airplanes get us to fly, and microscopes and telescopes get us to see beyond nature’s endowment. Past success at overcoming physical or cognitive barriers may partly explain why we are not inclined to accept any limit as insurmountable. 

    And why should we accept any limit or boundary? After all, if science can improve human existence, providing us with ever more comfort and happiness, why limit it? The answer, per Dr. Wallace, is a matter of ethical judiciousness because comfort and happiness, or “hedonic well-being,” as he terms it, “is contingent upon outer and inner pleasant stimuli, and is often pursued with no regard for ethics…” A lack of ethics, even when wedded to comfort and happiness, is a dangerous and dehumanizing thing. In Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, this can be clearly seen because while there is much in keeping with “hedonic well-being” from soma to feasts to sex-parties, the people are little more than pleasure-seeking, puerile beasts. An outsider to the New World Order, John “The Savage,” at one point asks the inhabitants, “‘But do you like being a slave?… Do you like being babies? Yes, babies. Mewling and puking!… Don’t you want to be free and men? Don’t you even understand what manhood and freedom are?’” He’s later told by “The Controller” Mustapha Mond,  “‘Our Ford himself did a great deal to shift the emphasis from truth and beauty to comfort and happiness.’” And, as The Savage witnesses, the results of the teleological shift are utterly tragic. For the Brave New World-ers, the cost of comfort and happiness is their very human-ness. They have become the savages. And Huxley isn’t the only one who’s offered a prescient warning of the risks of being driven by comfort and happiness. Over two-thousand years ago, in his Politics, Aristotle noted much the same thing, writing,

    For as man is the best of the animals when perfected, so he is the worst of all when sundered from law and justice. For unrighteousness is most pernicious when possessed of weapons, and man is born possessing weapons for the use of wisdom and virtue, which it is possible to employ entirely for the opposite ends. Hence when devoid of virtue man is the most unholy and savage of animals, and the worst in regard to sexual indulgence and gluttony. 

    Comfort alone won’t satisfy the human soul. Its pursuit and acquisition do not invariably make men noble, and while some might argue that “most ethical knowledge is local,” I contend that ethics, properly understood, must be global. Indeed, universal. And I’d further argue that when it comes to identifying science’s ultimate end, both ethics and a sense of what it means to be human must figure in.

    Flourishing

    The belief that there is such a thing as human flourishing stretches back into antiquity and is couched within a sense that human beings have a purpose. There is something that we are for—beyond mere happiness and comfort—and whatever that ultimate end is, great thinkers across time and space have agreed, we should muster our all resources, including science, to achieve it. So what does it mean to be a human being? According to Buddhist philosophy, answering this question “begins with ethics, then focuses on the cultivation of mental balance, and finally centers on the cultivation of wisdom, particularly that stemming from insight into one’s own nature.” So what is the nature of a human being? According to Richard Dawkins, “living organisms and their bodies are best seen as machines programmed by the genes to propagate those very same genes.” We are, in the words of late MIT Professor Marvin Minsky, “meat machines.” Human beings are nothing special, really. Our highest and best end is to have endless and procreative sex, which means Viagra and Octomom are the pinnacle of human achievement. Perhaps. But there are other perspectives. In his Confessions, Saint Augustine observed that our highest end was to rest in the One for whom we were created, writing, “You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” Chair of Rice University’s Department of Chemistry and practicing scientist Dr. James Tour holds Augustine’s view, and in describing the work he and his lab are doing in nanotechnology, he says this: “What we’re trying to do is make the lame walk, the blind see, the deaf hear, and have the poor have the Gospel preached to them.” That is a different perspective entirely. There are many more, and whichever prevails will ultimately decide what science is for. But until then, it might be best for scientists to be a bit more cautious and reflective about their ends. After all, history has made it clear that Frankenstein-esque experimentation has been a costly and tragic heuristic again and again. Personally, I think Professor Seyyed Hossein Nasr put it best:

    Only a science that issues from the source of all knowledge, from the Knower, and that is cultivated in an intellectual universe in which the spiritual and the ethical are not mere subjectivisms but fundamental features of the cosmic, as well as the meta-cosmic Reality, can save humanity today from this mass suicide that parades as human progress. 

    Religion & Science. Spring 2022

    Something Real

    When I was in the third grade, I saw the movie The Goonies for the first time, and it quickly became my favorite thing, inspiring an acute fear of blenders and walk-in freezers as well as a fixation with treasure hunting. 

    I was obsessed.

    So you can imagine my excitement when, shortly thereafter while hunting for gold in the gravel of the playground, I found a diamond ring. 

    I actually still have it, and I bring it out on occasion when I want a trip down memory lane (or when like all the people I’ve ever met start getting married/engaged–seriously, it’s insane).

    As you can see, it’s pretty big, and accordingly, my third grade self estimated its value at the largest sum of money I could conceive…

    A million dollars seemed about right to me. 

    Little Sarah was on cloud nine, convinced that she would not have to work a day in her life, and the next day, I badgered my mom into taking me to the local jewelry store to cash it in.

    She humored me, and we went the next day whereupon we were promptly told it wasn’t worth anything.

    It was costume jewelry. 

    Little Sarah was crushed. 

    Here I thought I’d found something valuable, only to be told it was decidedly not.

    And here’s the thing.

    As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to see that this happens a lot.

    That is, many of us, myself included, mistake a counterfeit for the real thing, and when we find out the truth, the results can be, frankly, devastating.

    At the very least, we’ll be disappointed and hurt.

    But in the case of a person we love/respect or something that’s particularly personal or intimate, it can be a whole lot worse.

    And, of course, never wanting to experience that kind of despair or devastation again and scrabbling for a measure of self-protection, many people (like yours truly) end up in a cynical place of over-correction.

    Having been snookered before, we determine never to be snookered again.

    Fool me once, fool me twice, right?

    Wrong.

    In his Confessions, Saint Augustine does a 10/10 job of highlighting why cynicism, while understandable, is not going to go well for long:

    “But just as it commonly happens that a person who has experienced a bad physician is afraid of entrusting himself to a good one, so it was with the health of my soul. While it could not be healed except by believing, it was refusing to be healed for fear of believing what is false.”

    Friends, take it from me and Saint Augustine, using bad experiences with counterfeits to justify saying NO to everything only hurts you more in the end.

    However!

    Granting this, the question persists:

    How can we be sure we’re not being snookered again?

    That what we’ve got is something REAL and not a counterfeit?

    In Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Dr. Frankenstein is asked,

    “Alas! Victor, when falsehood can look so like the truth, who can assure themselves of certain happiness?”

    Well, friends!

    Today, I’d like to give you a three-step process that I’ve found helpful for assessing whether something is the capital R-Real deal or not in my life, and I gotta say, it’s done a good job of rooting out the counterfeits and securing my overall happiness.

    It’s a pretty simple and a super old paradigm:

    1. Ask
    2. Seek
    3. Knock

    Step #1: Ask

    The first and often easiest step to figuring out whether something is real or not is often just to ask.

    When it came to my million-dollar playground ring, it took the jeweler like two seconds to determine it wasn’t worth anything, and even though Little Sarah was upset, I yielded to the person with more experience and expertise when it came to assessing diamond rings.

    Now, just to be clear–I’m no fan of technocracy (I’ve written about that here, previously).

    However, when it comes to figuring out whether something is the real deal or a counterfeit, asking people with more experience/expertise who have “been there done that,” so to speak, can be remarkably helpful in discerning whether or not to pursue, sign onto, or invest in something.

    I mean, I almost always read Yelp, RateMyProfessor, Goodreads, and Amazon reviews for that very reason.

    I want to know what people who I have reason to believe know what they’re talking about when it comes to a business, class, book, or product, think.

    Still, there are almost always credible mixed reviews on all these things.

    Rarely will something be as definitive as my poor playground ring, and in areas with more inherent subjectivity, it may well be that the people offering their opinions on whether something is the real deal or not may be people with whom you fundamentally disagree.

    I mean, there are people in D.C. who think that a coffee (not a fan) shop with cats (I am allergic) is the best thing since sliced bread.

    I think those people are slightly coo coo bananapants.

    Similarly, the church I’m now a member at was once a place I avoided because I’d gotten the second-hand impression that it was legalistic and full of po faces.

    *Sigh.

    100% not the case, friends.

    But it took me actually going there to discover that.

    Thus, while the reviews and opinions of others can give you some helpful direction when it comes to discerning something real from a counterfeit, you can’t always just take people’s word for it.

    Some things require or at least invite more up-close and personal investigation.

    Step #2: Seek

    I recently finished Shusaku Endo’s award-winning novel Silence, and while I have some theological qualms with the story (I 100% do not believe Jesus would ever encourage apostasy), it was still an enjoyable read.

    Also, in my opinion, it is better than the movie despite the fact the film includes Spiderman, Oskar Schindler, and Kylo Ren playing 17th century Catholic priests.

    10/10 casting.

    Anyways!

    My point in bringing it up is that the book begins with one such aforementioned personal investigation.

    In brief, the inciting incident of the novel comes when a few young Portuguese missionaries (Andrew Garfield and Adam Driver in the movie) receive word that their former teacher, much revered Father Ferreira (Liam Neeson), has renounced the faith and trampled on Jesus’ face, and they, not believing the news, set out for Japan to discover truth.

    It’s an arduous journey and even more trying once they actually reach Japan, but it had to be done because they needed to know the truth about their mentor and friend.

    When it came to the authenticity of his supposed apostasy, a second-hand account was not going to be sufficient for them.

    They needed to seek, and indeed see, the truth for themselves.

    And they do.

    Fair warning, friends, I’m going to spoil the book in

    3…

    2…

    1…

    What they’d heard about Ferreira was true.

    He had apostatized.

    In fact, when he and Father Rodrigues come face to face, Ferreira endeavors to get Rodrigues to do the same, telling him that in the swamp of Japan, Christianity could never take, only be corrupted and decay.

    At that, Rodrigues tells himself,

    “Don’t be deceived by this sophistry. The defeated man uses any self-deception whatsoever to defend himself.”

    Sadly, it’s a defeat that Rodrigues ultimately chooses as well.

    Faced with a group of peasants hanging inside pits who will not be spared unless he tramples on Jesus, Rodrigues submits.

    Now, we’re led to believe that despite his trampling, he still believes, but Rodrigues’ public apostasy (especially when measured against the Japanese peasants in the story who choose to be martyred instead of doing similarly), casts doubt on, if not his faith’s veracity than certainly its maturity.

    And while I doubt Rodrigues would’ve ever said his faith wasn’t genuine, a really good way of assessing whether something is real or not is what happens when it gets tested.

    Because as much of an asset as our own eyes/experiences can be, the human mind has a tremendous capacity for self-deceit.

    We are… not always the most objective.

    And as Rodrigues said,

    The defeated man uses any self-deception whatsoever to defend himself.

    Thus, the final step when it comes to figuring out whether something is the Real Deal and not a counterfeit does not rely on the opinions/experiences of anyone else or even what we perceive ourselves.

    It comes down to testing the thing itself.

    Step #3: Knock

    When I was in high school, I had a truly incredible history teacher.

    He’s amazing and taught me so many things, but my major takeaway from his class was how to think critically.

    Through his instruction, I learned how to detect weaknesses in other’s arguments and identify when someone didn’t have all the facts/was just spouting nonsense.

    In fact, it was actually through that class that I developed what I term the “mush and push” strategy.

    That is, if a classmate said something suspect–i.e. mushy when it came to their knowledge of the facts or thrust of their argument–I would push back.

    If they weren’t solid on the facts or argument, it very quickly became apparent.

    And here’s the thing.

    I didn’t actually have to know anything.

    I mean, most of the time I had a good sense of why I disagreed or thought the point they made was weak, but if all I had was an intuitive sense that they’d said something suspect, I didn’t need to know anything to put it to the test.

    All I’d have to do was ask,

    “Why do you think that?”

    And friends, you know if you (like I often have) have ever just said something without really thinking and someone asks you that, you just want to die right there and then because you know you’re about to look like an idiot as you get tongue-tied trying to substantiate nonsense.

    100% been there done that, friends.

    10/10 do not recommend.

    And see, asking someone “why?” they said what they said, is the equivalent of a gentle poke if you ask me.

    It’s a soft knock.

    A nudge.

    A loving tap.

    But if something is the Real Deal–i.e. ironclad–you can more than give it a tentative push-back.

    You can full on hit it with a baseball bat.

    Because here’s the thing:

    Real Deals can take a beating.

    A solid argument can withstand even the most hostile inquisition.

    A real diamond (*cough* not mine) can take a hammer hit.

    Someone who really loves you won’t cut out even when you act like a total–

    I think you get my drift.

    So!

    Friends…

    If you’re struggling to see whether or not something is the Real Deal, and you’ve asked and sought and still aren’t sure whether it is or not, my suggestion is you give it a good, solid hit and see what happens.

    Because Real things–True things–can take a beating and come back swinging.

    How do I know?

    Well, in John 14:6, Jesus said,

    “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through Me.”

    And shortly thereafter, He was scourged more than any man.

    Honestly, He probably looked like hamburger meat when the Romans were through with Him.

    He was crucified.

    Died.

    And came back to life again.

    Truth can take a beating and come back swinging, friends.

    And in the case of Jesus, He didn’t get cosmically knocked around just for kicks.

    He did it so that you and I could have life and life abundant with Him.

    If we want it, that is.

    Because just as I may–God-willing–get the chance to accept a capital R-Real diamond ring from someone someday, I’ll also have the option, having been presented with the ring, to say, “no thanks” and walk away.

    Jesus, Real as He is, is still going to give you a say in whether or not you accept Him.

    To my understanding, He isn’t particularly interested in having slaves.

    He wants a fiancé.

    So, friends, if you don’t know Jesus/aren’t sure whether or not you want to say “Yes!” to Him, it’d be my honor and privilege to share my experience of being His.

    You can drop me a line anytime, and if you just want to keep abreast of the things I write, please do subscribe so you get notified 🙂

    Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him.

    How I proved Him o’er and o’er.

    Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus.

    Oh to grace to love Him more.

    They’re Not Like Me: A Crisis of Legitimacy

    Prompt: Based on your expertise in Comparative Political Systems, US Secretary of State Antony Blinken has requested a meeting with you to discuss the “most pressing issue(s) in comparative governance and development around the globe.” 

    Dear Secretary Blinken,

    During the last two centuries, millions, if not billions, of people have ceased to believe in the divine right of kings and dismissed the idea that some men are born to follow and others to lead. Indeed, in the West, the belief that every human being is endowed with equal and inalienable worth and dignity has made it such that almost all citizens believe the difference between themselves and their leaders is not one of kind and barely even one of degree. Anyone could ostensibly lead, and thus, those that do occupy a governing seat have to work that much harder to be taken seriously. Unfortunately, many leaders are presently experiencing a crisis of legitimacy, causing their respective soils and spheres of influence to rumble with insecurity. The consequences of this are significant, posing an imminent threat to regional and global security, since, without legitimate authority, the likelihood of violent conflict rises significantly. Therefore, it behooves you, Mr. Secretary, to take this crisis seriously. As such, this briefing will first analyze the reasons why leaders’ legitimacy around the world is under siege and offer historical and present day insight into the potential consequences if it does not cease.

    In Max Weber’s “Politics as a Vocation,” he argues that states are legitimized by one of three ways: tradition, charisma, or rational-legal authority. For Weber, the rational-legal paradigm has won the day with legitimacy coming by citizens giving their ascent to be governed by a system of laws and norms that they can apprehend and have the ability to inform. In brief, legitimacy begins and ends with the governed’s consent, and according to Francis Fukayama, this belief has become increasingly widespread. In fact, Fukayama contends that in the realm of systematic political philosophies, liberalism is human history’s final end. There is no other game in town besides governments derived from and upheld by the people’s consent. And yet, in the last few decades, consent of the people has become increasingly hard to get. 

    There are a myriad of reasons for this, but high and chief among them is the fact that large groups of people, even whole countries, feel as if they have drawn the short end of the stick. On an international level, Andre Gunder Frank has argued that certain countries, by dint of their history as heavily exploited colonies, have been systematically undeveloped, and in The Mystery of Capital, Hernando de Soto goes even further, claiming, “The triumph of capitalism only in the West could be a recipe for economic and political disaster.” Both men grasp, and Ted Robert Gurr would confirm, that continued feelings of “relative deprivation” could very well lead to an unpleasant, if not cataclysmic, global situation as poorer countries come to resent and contest the dominant place of the West. However, we need not only look at clashes between the “West and the Rest” to see that widespread feelings of deprivation and disillusionment pose a problem for any authority that wants to retain its legitimacy. In “Brexit’s False Democracy,” Kate McNamara contends that Brexit was a function of similarly discontent sentiments as the more “parochial” minded, who knew they were to be the losers in the pan-European dream, rescinded their consent and wrested back their sovereignty. 

    In either case, the sense that a whole swath of people has drawn the short end of the stick makes it difficult to see those in charge, the “winners,” whether regionally or globally, as legitimate. To that end, Andreas Wimmer’s “like over like” paradigm, despite being initially confined to an ethnocentric argument, provides some helpful insight because while liberalism has impelled many to believe that their leaders differ from them only in their positional authority, a significant amount of people look at global leaders today and think, “they are not ‘like me.’” That is a problem for legitimacy because as Benedict Anderson has said, nations must be bound by a deep sense of “horizontal camaraderie,” and without that camaraderie, indeed with a felt sense that one’s rulers are irreconcilably distinct from the people they are ruling, consent of the governed will be exceedingly hard to achieve. Theologian John Courtney Murray put the problem like this:

    “The fact today is not simply that we hold different views but that we have become different types of men… We are therefore uneasy in one another’s presence. We are not in fact present to one another at all; we are absent from one another. That is I am not transparent to the other, nor he to me; our mutual experience is that of an opaqueness.”

    That sense of unease and opaqueness can do nothing but precipitate a legitimacy crisis, both between and within nations, as those who have drawn the short stick or else have different values, experiences, and/or historical grievances denounce winners and rulers as illegitimate. When this occurs, the risk of conflict increases dramatically because states that lose (or never secure) their legitimacy become much more susceptible to revolution, anarchy, and tyranny. Historically, Theda Skocpol has discussed the way state breakdown, of which a crisis of legitimacy is doubtless a piece, provided a necessary condition for French, Russian, and Chinese revolutionary activity. More recently, Jeffrey Herbst and Greg Mills have shown that a lack of legitimate authority in the Congo, even with the presence of foreign investment and backing, has led to insecurity and instability, ceding large chunks of the country to anarchy. Finally, in Hong Kong presently, the growing sense that the Chinese Communist Party is not a legitimate government has led many to take to the street in protest and led the Party to crack down with tyrannical viciousness. 

    Unfortunately, Mr. Secretary, there is no “technical solution” to the crisis of legitimacy. Some thinkers, like Steven Levitsky and Daniel Ziblatt have argued that government officials, specifically in democracies, should maintain legitimacy by warding off extremes. However, doubling down on leaders’ gatekeeper-ness may only inflame hostile sentiments because as Hanna Pitkin has pointed out, there is an ongoing and raging debate about whether representatives govern as individuals or under the people’s mandate. If the latter, going against the people’s will, however extreme it may be, will only feed the crisis of legitimacy. Indeed, it might actually be too late to arrest the growing legitimacy crisis because as Francis Fukayama has observed, “A nation’s well-being… is conditioned by a single, pervasive cultural characteristic: the level of trust inherent in the society.” If trust is essential for a nation’s well-being, it must be all the more key for the health of the global community. And yet, as has already been discussed, there has been a real and pervasive decline in trust on almost every front, and in such conditions, the best that can be achieved appears to be little more than an uneasy peace. At the domestic level, Arend Lijphart has suggested as much with his “consociational model” whereby power sharing and group autonomy are both guaranteed. Unfortunately, it is doubtful this would do much to build trust and legitimacy, and there is no clear way to implement this globally. 

    Sorry, Mr. Secretary. Things are pretty bleak, but I hope you have a nice holiday.

    Sincerely,

    Sarah Christine

    Comparative Political Systems Fall 2022

    “Spit That Out Right Now!”

    My aunt and I were on our way to the grocery store when disaster struck.

    “STOP THE CAR!”

    Her head whipped towards the passenger seat, not understanding my words, but clearly grasping their urgency.

    “STFHM VVE HURR!”

    “Sarah! What’s wrong?!”

    There wasn’t time to explain. I could feel myself going red in the face as I pounded my finger on the window switch, desperately trying to lower it.

    “STFHM VVE HURR!”

    She veered to the side of the road, and I flung my head over the car’s edge, spewing the mouthful of liquid onto the pavement.

    “Sarah! What is it!? Are you alright!?”

    I was a bit busy wiping my tongue on a napkin I’d snatched from the car’s side, but I managed to point a finger at the innocuous looking can sitting in the cup holder and croaked,

    “That’s Sprite.”

    Now, to the uninitiated, my reaction may seem a bit *eh-hem* extreme, but let me assure you, high fructose corn syrup and I do not agree.

    Like, I will full on vomit and have a stomach ache for days if it gains entry.

    Which is why, when I brought the can to my lips and took a sip of what I thought was sparkling water only to be met with cloying sweetness, I knew I had to spit.

    It was honestly like the scene from Ratatouille where Emile takes a big ole bite of garbage and Remy sees him.

    Animated GIF

    Only, I managed to be both Remy (the shrieker) and Emile (the spitter) simultaneously.

    Why am I talking about this?

    Well, friends, a couple of reasons, but high and chief among them is the fact that I think it’s about time we talk about dietary restrictions!

    After all, if you know me, you know that I am, shall we say, picky about the things I eat?

    Alistair Begg once said some of his congregation looked like a good bowl of mac n’ cheese would knock them dead, and when I heard that, I was like,

    Preach GIF

    “Amen, pastor! You are 100% correct. If I ate dairy-coated, wheat noodles, we would need a resurrection.”

    At the very least, people would think I was orally exorcising a demon.

    And just to be clear, I wasn’t always this way.

    Back in the day, I had no issue when it came to consuming gluten, dairy, eggs, sugar, soy, or nightshades.

    However, over the last few years, my stomach has been avenging itself upon me, and I now have to be very careful with what I eat and drink unless I want a cornucopia of no good, very bad things to happen to me and my surroundings.

    In fact, up until a month or so ago, I hadn’t eaten anything I hadn’t prepared myself for almost three years.

    And see, as cumbersome as that could be (though, I liked to say I’m the best dinner date there is: cheap), I can now honestly say that my dietary restrictions have been a measure of God’s grace to me.

    Seriously.

    Because back in the day, I never gave much thought to what I ate.

    If I was hungry/thirsty, I just grabbed whatever was in the vicinity, and nine times out of ten, whatever I grabbed was not particularly good for me.

    No lie–if you opened my freshman year food drawer, you would’ve found a whole lot of lucky charms, instant mac ‘n cheese, and a ton of “healthy” Trader Joe’s candy.

    Freshman Sarah was a sucker for marketing.

    And here’s the thing.

    If my stomach hadn’t started bringing the pain, my eating habits would not have changed.

    I mean, I’d happily eaten the Standard American Diet (Yes, the actual acronym for it is SAD) my entire life.

    Some of my most treasured memories include peppermint ice cream, German chocolate cake donuts, margarita pizza, and homemade pie.

    All of which, and much more besides, I’d somehow managed to eat without any noticeable effects on my waistline.

    I was “healthy.”

    I was fine.

    Friends, I like to consider myself reasonably intelligent, but no thinking person I’ve ever met would contend that routinely filling their body with ice cream, mac n’ cheese, donuts, etc. was good for them.

    And yet…

    That’s exactly what I did.

    For why?

    Well, having reflected some, I think there are two main reasons (leaving aside the option that I was just an idiot), and they are:

    1. I really liked the Standard American Diet
    2. I’d yet to experience any real consequences

    That first one should be pretty obvious.

    I, for one, don’t know anyone who doesn’t like the Standard American Diet.

    What’s not to like?

    Sugar. Sodium. Fried things. Fat.

    It’s not as if any of that tastes bad.

    In fact, the food that’s part of the SAD often brings happiness!

    At least for the moment.

    But here’s the thing.

    Eat like that for long and you’re going to have problems.

    Calcified arteries.

    Type II Diabetes.

    Fatty liver disease.

    Etc. Etc.

    All no good, very bad things.

    And listen, you may think that because none of that has happened yet, there’s no need to reassess your eating habits, but it’s called “junk food” for a reason, friends, and eating garbage has consequences.

    We all know this.

    At least in theory, that is.

    However, it has well been said that the longest journey in the human life is the 18 inches between the heart and the head, and I think something similar can be said of the stomach.

    It’s one thing to know we shouldn’t be eating junk food and another thing to feel in our gut that SAD garbage is really, really not good for us.

    And see, that’s honestly why my stomach problems have been a measure of God’s grace to me because when I eat something I shouldn’t, I feel it.

    Almost immediately.

    Truly, the rapidity of the consequences have effectively trained me so that now, when something I should not eat crosses my lips, it’s like my stomach sends a signal to my brain to my mouth that says,

    “AH! NO NO NO NO NO NO! SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW!”

    And whatever’s in my mouth rocket propels to the ground because as Mr. Bennett says in Pride and Prejudice:

    “I have at last learned to be cautious.”

    And let me tell you, friends…

    That has been an invaluable lesson.

    And here’s the thing.

    I think it applies to more than just what we eat.

    Proverbs 14:12 says,

    “There is a way that seems right to man, but in the end leads to death.

    Today, I think there are a lot of things that seem normal or right or good to us (like the Standard American Diet) that if we’re honest and look at their long-term trajectories, only cause heartburn, pain, and misery.

    But we do them.

    Again.

    And again.

    And again.

    Dear friends.

    I speak from personal experience when I say that following our appetites hurts us in the end.

    And listen, I get it.

    Dietary restrictions can be un-fun in the extreme, but I personally take great comfort in the fact that they really aren’t unique to me.

    In fact, they go all the way back to the dawn of humanity.

    If you recall, there was once a garden full of trees where Adam and Eve were told that there was one–just one–from which they should not eat.

    But then, as now, a serpentine voice slithered in, saying,

    “Go ahead… Do it… It’s fine… You will not surely die.

    Friends, if no one’s ever told you, here’s the truth:

    Satan is a liar.

    And he wants you to believe that the best thing you can do is feed all your desires.

    But it’s not.

    Not by a long shot.

    And so often we can be deceived.

    We think sin will make us happy.

    That it will assuage our hunger or quench our thirst when, in reality, it makes everything a whole lot worse.

    Maybe not right away.

    But eventually, we start to decay from the inside out.

    Lives crumble.

    Relationships breakdown.

    All because we bit into and swallowed something we should have spit out.

    And here’s the thing.

    It’s commonly believed that God just wants to spoil our fun by forbidding everything.

    Like He’s up there in Heaven snatching all the fun and flavorful things away, looking down at humanity and snarling,

    Then Go Ahead And Starve GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

    But that’s not God’s heart.

    Not at all.

    We’ve made Him into a monster, a bully, and a tyrant in our heads, but my man Charles Spurgeon described the reality of the situation like this:

    “When I regarded God as a tyrant, I thought sin a trifle; but when I knew him to be my father, then I mourned that I could ever have kicked against him. When I thought that God was hard, I found it easy to sin; but when I found God so kind, so good, so overflowing with compassion, I smote upon my breast to think that I could ever have rebelled against one who loved me so, and sought my good.”

    See, God doesn’t want junk for us.

    He never has.

    He gives us restrictions because He knows certain things lead to death.

    And what He wants is to satisfy our appetites and desires with what is best.

    In John 6:35, Jesus said,

    “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”

    Friends, it has well been said that Jesus is the Master Physician, and while that’s completely true, it’s been my experience that He’s not only the Master Physician but the Master Dietician, too.

    And what I know 100% is that He wants more than anything to feast eternally with you.

    So friends!

    If you don’t know Jesus, it would be my honor and privilege to introduce you to Him and tell you about the way He has not only changed my life but saved my life.

    And listen–if He can do it for me, He can for sure do it for you.

    That’s all for this week!

    If you want to support me, please subscribe and share!

    It costs you nothing–it’s just nice to know I have readers out there 🙂

    Also, please enjoy this picture of little Sarah with strawberry yogurt in her hair.

    4 Steps For Resisting Resentment

    Hi friends!

    So sorry about the scant postings as of late–life’s been a bit hectic.

    See, on top of heading back to school, I’ve also been preparing for the LSAT.

    I know. I know.

    Typical liberal arts neerdowell progression.

    BUT!

    In my defense, I did not want to go to law school–my friends and family can vouch for that.

    However, my dad and I prayed a few weeks back about it and God gave me a sign so I’m trying to be obedient.

    Still, thus far, preparing for the LSAT has been a bumpy ride, and not infrequently, I find myself thinking things about the test that are not particularly nice.

    In fact, this moment from Pirates of The Caribbean: The Curse of The Black Pearl captures a bit of how I feel when I’m three hours into a study session and the Logical Reasoning section is making me want to die.

    'Parlay' probably doesn't work..

    Only replace “parlay” with the words “if, only if, if and only if, unless, sufficient, and necessary.”

    Seriously.

    I never thought such simple words could so vex me, but the LSAT test writers are clearly trying to test me.

    Which is fine.

    That is their job, after all.

    I know this.

    I understand.

    And yet, the pinpricks of ill will persist inside my head, and I know–I know–if I don’t do anything about them, they’ll lead to the very thing I want to talk about this week:

    Resentment.

    Miriam-Webster Dictionary defines resentment as “a feeling of indignant displeasure or persistent ill will at something regarded as a wrong, insult, or injury,” and when I’m in the throes of an unpleasant study session, I find myself regarding the LSAT as guilty of all three.

    Indignant displeasure describes my sentiments perfectly.

    However!

    In life, being on the receiving end of wrongs, insults, and/or injuries (real or perceived) is an inevitability, and thus, I am glad the LSAT has been #testing me because it’s forced me to think about and develop four steps that, at least for me, are helpful for resisting resentment.

    And I think they apply to life generally!

    So…

    If you, like me, find yourself struggling with any kind of resentful feelings when someone (or something!) does you wrong, pays you an insult, or causes injury, I hope these steps help you like they’ve helped me!

    #1: Reality Check

    In brief, this step–the first step to resisting resentment–is the “it’s not you, it’s me” check.

    Because I don’t know about you, but more than once in my life, I’ve been in a situation where I get miffed, perceiving something/someone as wrong, insulting, or injurious, when, in reality, I was just primed to get ticked.

    In fact, at this point in my life, I’ve noticed a pattern which is that I, Sarah, have a toe edged into resentment during particular times, which include, but are not limited to:

    Past 10PM at night.

    During those wondrous seven or so days of the month where wearing white pants is a hard no unless I want to risk looking like I’ve been shot in the thigh.

    When the thermostat exceeds 75 degrees Fahrenheit.

    Or when the Logical Reasoning section of the LSAT is making me want to die.

    Any or–God-forbid–all of the above combined are times when I will be somewhat displeased already, and in those instances, it behooves me–indeed, I think it is my responsibility–to stop myself and ask, whenever something or someone pushes me over the edge,

    “Is this/that actually wrong, insulting, and/or injurious, or am I just prepped to get pissed?”

    Because if the answer to the latter is yes, harboring ill-will is not okay.

    It’s just self-centeredness.

    The world does not revolve around me, you see.

    And if the reality of the situation is that whatever was said/done to me was totally benign, I’m just overly sensitized, ill-will, let alone resentment, simply isn’t justified.

    After all, it’s not anyone else’s job to cater to me and my idiosyncrasies, and even if it was, mind-reading (as I’ve discussed before) is currently beyond human capabilities.

    HOWEVER!

    The case may be that in reality it is not just me.

    What was said/done really was a wrong, an insult, and/or an injury.

    And if that’s true, we gotta move to step two.

    #2: Remember Who You Used To Be

    This may just be a me thing, but I’ve found that when I suffer a wrong, insult, and or/injury, I tend to immediately assume a posture of incredulity.

    Like, in my head, I’ll be thinking,

    “I cannot believe you just did/said that!”

    “What the absolute heck?”

    “Are you coocoo bananapants?”

    I’m basically Vizzini from The Princess Bride:

    Inconceivable GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

    It’s inconceivable to me that someone would act/speak like that.

    And yet…

    While I think it’s normal to be taken aback when someone gives you any kind of whack, the line of thinking that says, “I can’t believe you just did that!” contains an assumption that, I submit, primes the mind for resentment, and it is this:

    I (Sarah) would never do or say that.”

    I don’t know about you, but it’s been my experience that statements like that are just flat out inaccurate.

    I mean, I’ve done quite a lot of no-good, very bad things and assuming a posture of pearl-clutching in the face of a wrong, insult, or injury, is little more than a display of Ursula-esque selective memory:

    image

    For most of us, sainthood is simply not the case, and the problem with thinking things along the lines of “I can’t believe what they just did/said” (i.e. “I would never do that”) is that it feeds self-righteousness.

    Self-righteous people tend to be rather stingy when it comes to grace.

    I mean, they’ve never done someone a wrong, paid an insult, or caused an injury.

    They’re perfection itself and don’t need any leeway or help, so why would they extend either towards someone else?

    Here’s the truth I’ve found:

    It’s very easy to be resentful and think the worst of somebody else when you think the best of yourself.

    And that typically comes when you’ve forgotten yourself.

    I know personally that when I start feeling resentful, it’s because I’ve forgotten just how rotten I used to be.

    It’s happened less since I started CC, I think.

    I mean, a big part of why I started this blog was so that I would not forget who I used to be, but just to be clear, before God got to me, I was just no bueno.

    Like muy feo.

    Definitely.

    And I am still FAR from perfect as evidenced by the fact that for my dorm room this year, my aunt saw fit to get me this:

    My family is hilarious.

    They know me so well.

    And things like that block help me check myself.

    That’s really what my first two steps for resisting resentment are all about because, at least for me, self-centeredness and/or self-righteousness are typically contributing to whatever ill-will or indignant displeasure I might be feeling towards someone else, and if I get a handle on those, resentment usually handles itself.

    But not always.

    There have definitely been times when someone’s done me a wrong, paid me an insult, or caused injury, and the upset I’ve felt hasn’t dissipated even after I’ve checked myself for self-centeredness and self-righteousness.

    And in those instances, I’ve noticed a commonality which is that the wrong, insult, and/or injury done typically isn’t the first or only one.

    It’s something that the person has habitually done, and when they do it again, the ill-will I feel is a response not to the particular wrong, insult, or injury but to the ten, twenty, or a hundred+ other times they’ve done the same thing.

    Which brings me to step three.

    #3: Practice Forgetfulness

    If you know me, you know I do my best to commit things to memory.

    I try to keep track of names, significant dates, prayer requests, and the things I watch and read (tips for which I’ve written about previously).

    All of the above are good things.

    However, the downside of this is that I’ve somewhat trained my brain to hold onto anything that makes an impression on me, including wrongs, insults, and injuries.

    That is not a good thing.

    Because keeping a running score of how many times someone has wronged, insulted, and/or injured me makes resisting resentment difficult.

    Exceedingly.

    And I think that’s true for most everybody.

    I was re-reading C.S. Lewis’ amazing book The Great Divorce recently (if you haven’t read it, it’s about a bus ride to Heaven where the riders can choose to remain in Heaven or go back to purgatory), and what stuck out to me this read was the fact that a significant portion of the people who elect to return to (or never even leave) purgatory have really, really good memories.

    They remember every wrong, insult, and injury (real or perceived), and they aren’t going to let go of them for anything.

    The past was all I had!” One denizen of purgatory says.

    “It was all you chose to have,” corrects a resident of Heaven. “It was the wrong way to deal with sorrow. It was Egyptian–like embalming a dead body.”

    Friends, embalming the wrongs, insults, and injuries we’ve been dealt can be so, so tempting.

    I get it.

    I understand.

    But dear friends, I also believe that doing so will keep us out of Heaven, both in this life and the next.

    C.S. Lewis captures this sobering reality well in The Great Divorce when a resident of Heaven tells one of the riders from purgatory who is intent on recounting all the wrongs done to him,

    “If it would help you and if it were possible I would go down with you into Hell: but you cannot bring Hell into me.”

    You cannot bring Hell into Heaven.

    It is an impossibility.

    And from what I’ve experienced and seen, if someone refuses to let go of past wrongs, insults, and/or injuries, they end up in a hell of their own making, which is why I’ve made it a practice in my own life to forget the wrongs, insults, and injuries done to me.

    And here I think it’s important to be very clear about what “forget” means.

    See, if you look at forget’s etymology [“for-” (away, opposite) “-get” (to grasp)], its more passive construction is “to lose one’s grip” but the more active construction is “to refuse to grasp.”

    For me, that’s what practicing forgetfulness is in the end.

    It’s saying,

    “I will choose to let go of wrongs, insults, and injuries. Not because they didn’t hurt. Or because they don’t matter but because I know holding onto them hurts me in the end.”

    The alternative is to dwell and dwell and dwell, and often that does nothing but leave you in a living Hell.

    I don’t want that for myself or for anyone else.

    So, friends, if you can, I urge you to try to refuse to grasp the wrongs, insults, and injuries you’ve been dealt in the past.

    However, if you struggle to do that, I completely understand.

    It took me a long time to get to a place where I could let go of wrongs, insults, and injuries, especially the ones that really, really hurt me, because a part of me always felt like,

    “Okay, I get that resentment is bad for me, but the fact that the person who did me a wrong, paid me an insult, or caused injury gets to get off scot free seems just patently unfair. And if I let go of what they did, who else is going to care?”

    And to that, friends, I have only one answer, and it’s that there is a loving God out there who, when you suffer any sort of wrong, insult, and/or injury, always, always cares.

    And that brings me to my final (and arguably most important) step for resisting resentment.

    #4: Let God Get ’em

    I recently finished my third re-read of Twelve Years A Slave by Solomon Northup, and friends, I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, if I were Queen for the day, that book would be one of the ones I’d make required reading in the US of A.

    In sum, it recounts the true story of how he was kidnapped in New York in 1841 and sold into slavery in Louisiana for twelve years before being rescued.

    The entire book is just incredible, but it’s the final chapter that never fails to knock me flat.

    In it, Northup details the sham trial his kidnappers underwent where they told the court that he, Solomon Northup, had happily sold himself into slavery.

    The jury agreed.

    The men were set free.

    But instead of raging and absolutely rhetorically eviscerating his kidnappers and the jury (something I probably–almost definitely–would’ve done), this is what Solomon Northup said:

    “A human tribunal has permitted him to escape but there is another and a higher tribunal, where false testimony will not prevail, and where I am willing, so far at least as these statements are concerned, to be judged at last.”

    The first time I read that, it felt like I’d been hit over the head.

    Here was a man who suffered abject brutality, humiliation, and degradation and yet…

    His response to that final injustice wasn’t resentment.

    It was confidence.

    Solomon Northup was utterly confident that a human tribunal would not have the final word in the end, and that the wrongs, insults, and injuries committed against him would ultimately be addressed.

    Friends…

    I think a lot of resentment often stems from a belief that there’s no ultimate recompense for wrongs, insults, and injuries.

    We feel like we have got to be the ones to see justice, whether on a big or small scale, done, and if we can’t, well, you can bet we’re going to hold a grudge.

    And if there’s no God, that makes total sense.

    But.

    And it’s a big but.

    I believe there is a God, and I believe what Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 says,

    “This is the end of the matter; all hath been heard: Fear God, and keep his commandments; for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

    God’s got an ultimate repayment plan in place.

    Human tribunals and fallible individuals will not get the final say, and I can personally attest that trusting God for ultimate justice does a heck of a lot to keep resentment at bay.

    But don’t just take it from me.

    One of my personal heroes, Rachel Denhollander (the survivor and lawyer who spearheaded the movement against USA Gymnastics doctor and sexual abuser Larry Nasser) put it like this in her magnificent Harvard lecture on reconciling justice and forgiveness:

    “Only in Christianity do I have the ability to release personal vengeance and trust that justice will be done apart from my personal response because I can trust God to bring that justice on my behalf and to bring it perfectly. I can release my desire to retaliate, and I can pursue that good standard of justice without bitterness and without anger, knowing that that pursuit is also a reflection of God’s truth and God’s character.”

    I couldn’t have said it any better.

    So, friends, I’ll end with this:

    Romans 12:17-19 says,

    “Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine,’ says the Lord. ‘I will repay.'”

    There will come a day of judgement where every wrong, injury, and insult, big or small, that’s been done to you and to me is dealt with once and for all.

    That’s a good thing. A great thing.

    But.

    And it’s another big but.

    I suspect that you, like me, have not only been the recipient of wrongs, insults, and injuries but also the perpetrator of those exact same things, and when that day of judgement comes, God’s repayment plan is going to apply to us all.

    And so, if, as Ursula would say, you’ve ever had the odd complaint and recognize that you are not, in fact, a saint, now would be a good time to figure out how your wrongs, insults, and injuries are going to be repaid.

    And if you’re not sure, I have THE BEST news for you today!

    Which is that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and raised to life again, and if you put your faith in Him, you will not only not have to endure the Day of Judgement, you will get to spend eternity with Him.

    It is, I can attest, the absolute biggest of wins.

    That’s all for this week!

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    This is my Father’s world:
    O let me ne’er forget

    That though the wrong seems oft so strong,
    God is the Ruler yet.