Almost exactly a year ago, I learned a very valuable lesson, and that is this:

A nail that sticks out gets hit.

How did I learn this?

Well, by writing an Op-ed piece for the school newspaper in the wake of the “Varsity Blues” College Admissions Scandal titled: “Stop Relishing College Scandal.”

It went down like the Titanic.

Only faster.

And for the first time in my life, I was the recipient of a veritable deluge of internet hate for arguing that we shouldn’t be bullying or delighting in our fellow students’ fall from grace.

Presently, I can appreciate the irony.

But at the time, it took me completely by surprise, and I went from being genuinely proud of what I’d written to sobbing in the bathroom of my internship.

No lie.

Why?

Well, I thought I’d made things worse.

That the words I’d meant for blessing had actually been taken as a curse.

It also did not help that people I counted as friends and friendly acquaintances were calling me an idiot and worse online for all to see.

However!

In the midst of this, I received a Facebook message from a total stranger that made the entire kurfuffle more than worth it.

I read the message again and again because while I’d already been consoled and encouraged by my family and friends, this was different.

This was affirmation that wasn’t born of any kind of personal affection or obligation, and all I could think was,

They got it.

They understand.

And friends, even if just for that one person, I’d do it all over again.

However!

Even though I wouldn’t change what I said or did, I still learned a lot from that incident.

The biggest thing being, if you’re going to be a nail that sticks out, you need to be able to positively answer two questions.

Ideally, before you go and get yourself hit 🙂

#1 Are You Sticking Out For The Right Reasons?

This was a big one for me because previously, I’d been sticking out for all the wrong reasons.

See, from mid-2017 to early-2019, I’d been neck deep in political partisanship, writing op-ed pieces that not only poked the bear but full on yanked on his nose hairs.

I’d been looking for a fight, and if you want a peek into my state of mind at the time, I wrote more about in “Toilet Paper Advice.”

However, thanks to a series of incidents, in January 2019, the veil was lifted from my eyes, and I could finally see what a utter butt I was being.

I quit those op-eds and pretty much politics cold-turkey.

It was radio silence from me.

However, when “Varsity Blues” came along and my fellow Hoyas started full-on cyber and just plain bullying the implicated students, something in me just couldn’t sit there in silence.

Not only because I thought it was wrong but also because a month prior, I would’ve been right there with them, baying for blood and smearing those students to Kingdom Come.

But that wasn’t me anymore.

That wasn’t who I wanted to be anymore.

And I wanted to implore my peers and the greater Georgetown community to try for something more.

Something greater than mockery or acerbity or epicaricacy.

Because that had been me.

And I’d tasted and seen that joy, fulfillment, and peace do not follow those things, however fleetingly satisfying they might be.

I wanted other people not to do what I had done.

Not to be what I had been.

A cold and callous person who delighted in the downfall of others, however earned it may have been.

All this to say, I did and still do believe that using and sharing my shortcomings to encourage people to go a different way is a worthwhile endeavor.

Spoiler Alert: That’s pretty much the entire point of Cultiv8ing Character!

So… was I sticking out for the right reasons?

I’d like to think so.

#2 Are You Willing To Take The Hit?

This is a more pragmatic question, but I do think it’s a worthwhile one to consider given that we are currently living under the regime of pretty voracious “cancel culture.”

While we in the West have (thankfully!) not yet reached a point where conventional martyrdom is required, the political, social, academic, financial, and/or interpersonal cost of sticking out (especially for certain things) has, ostensibly, never been higher.

Especially since the internet is forever.

Dun-dun-duh.

Seriously, though.

If you’re going to be a nail that sticks out, are you willing to take the hit?

Because if someone had told me,

“Hey, Sarah. If you write this, you’re going to get hundreds of comments and messages as well as other forms of media mocking and defaming you,”

I might’ve waffled a bit.

However, I think my affirmative answer to question #1 would’ve ultimately impelled me go through with it.

Because while I might’ve been writing under the banner of an opinion piece, I was actually writing a conviction piece.

An opinion is something you hold.

A conviction is something that holds you.

I could’ve no more stayed silent in that situation than I could’ve walked through a concrete wall.

Come what may.

So let me put it this way…

If you’re going to get hit, I’d encourage you to ask yourself whether you’re offering an opinion or operating from a conviction.

I’d be wary of taking hits for opinions because those can change at the drop of a hat, but a conviction?

I think you’d better be willing to take a hit for that.

So!

To rehash!

If you’re going to be a nail that sticks out, make sure you…

1. Are Sticking Out For The Right Reasons AND
2. Are Willing To Take The Hit

That’s all for this week!

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